


law of total madness

by angelictae



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Chemistry, Everyone Is Gay, Extremely Slow Burn, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, House Party, It's good I promise, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Maybe more idk, Science, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, a lot of underage they're all minors, altered ages because i can, changbin is a bit not good, changbin is overdramatic, excpet for chan i think, felix is a cute foreigner, hyunjin is rich af, inconsistent updates bc im trash, og character ha minjae don't hate him, supportive friends, the science kind and the emotional kind, this is wild, woochan but platonically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-22 02:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14298687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelictae/pseuds/angelictae
Summary: If you want to know what it's like to be the kid everyone looks up to; the bold, dangerous, reckless one everyone wishes they had the courage to be; the one who parties and drinks and smokes and swears and doesn't give a shit, just ask Seo Changbin.Third year in high school and he's one of the most respected kids. Pair him with senior Bang Chan and sophomore Han Jisung, they're everything you've ever wanted/feared.And yeah, Changbin loves it. Who wouldn't? He doesn't need anybody to tell him he's the shit because he already knows. And maybe being this arrogant is bad, but Changbin could give less of a fuck.But the boy's got to learn he's not all that, and it might just take a certain Lee Felix to do it.





	1. i'm not wasted, i'm in love

**Author's Note:**

> welcome welcome welcome to a changlix fic  
> it's wild but it'll be good (i hope) so have fun reading!
> 
> warning: underage smoking and drinking, coarse language

"Hyunjin's throwing a party tonight," Jisung says casually, not even bothering to look up from his phone at the two boys he's addressing.

Chan twists around from his spot in the driver's seat. "Hwang?"

"What other Hyunjin is there that throws parties, you dipshit?" Changbin replies, a puff of smoke curling out from his mouth. The windows are rolled down so Chan's dad won't find the car reeking of smoke, but it doesn't do much good. Besides, Changbin only smokes when he's feeling rebellious, and skipping third to go to Seoul's new underground rap club is a pretty good reason to do so.

"Fuck off, Binnie, I was just making sure," Chan snarls, but he's smiling and so is Changbin.

"Are we going?" Jisung asks, feet propped one on the back of Changbin's chair and one on the console, even though he's been told countless times not to.

"Don't we always? What's a party without us?" Changbin answers cockily, but he's not wrong. They're expected at parties; all the major ones anyways, like the ones resident rich kid and class president Hwang Hyunjin throws regularly. 

Chan laughs and turns up the music and Changbin grins, taking another drag of his cigarette and listening to Jisung rap along with Kanye West in broken English.

 

 

It's late when they get back; the club was forty-five minutes out from their school and better than expected— the bouncer didn't even card them, even though Jisung's only in his second year (and looks it) and Changbin is a short as a seventh grader. The afternoon was fun, and maybe next Tuesday when Changbin has his chem lab, they'll go back out.

But now they're in Changbin's room (black walls and a shit ton of posters of rappers he looks up to) while Jisung reefs through Changbin's closet and Chan cradles a pre-party beer.

"Binnie-hyung, where did you get these jeans?" Jisung says in admiration, pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans ripped enough to expose too much thigh for his mother's liking. (They were his favourite for solely that reason).

"Not sure, somewhere in the mall?" Changbin says, tearing his gaze away from his laptop. He's been working on some of his own music lately, writing lyrics and piecing together bits of bass tones and melodies. It would be sick to be able to hear his music played in clubs like the one they went to today, but Changbin knows he has a long time before that's even a possibility.

"Wow, hyung, that really dulls it down, thanks," Jisung answers sarcastically and throws them at Changbin. "I would wear them, but they probably wouldn't fit, 'cause you're so short."

(Jisung is instead wearing an orange/yellow and white and blue plaid flannel, black long-sleeve with something philosophical written on it and black jeans, wire-rimmed glasses stylishly low on his nose.)

"Fuck off, brat," Changbin shoots back. His height is the only thing Changbin hates about himself and Jisung and Chan never fail to tease him about it.

"Are you gonna get ready or not, Binnie, we've been waiting for _hours_ ," Chan says, over dramatic as usual. He's lying on Changbin's bed eagle-spread, in blue jeans and an over-sized red crew-neck, beer half empty.

"Jesus Christ, calm down, it's not even ten o' clock yet," Changbin says, but grabs the jeans and a turtleneck and stark white sweater, "And stop fucking calling me that!"

It takes him less than a minute to change after he goes into the bathroom, and another to run his hands through his tousled black bowl cut, and brush his teeth. Upon entering his room again, he slides his feet into leather black converse, grabs his jacket and chugs the rest of Chan's beer, cringing at the taste it leaves in his mouth.

"I'm ready, let's go," Changbin says, and with a moan of " _finally_ " from Jisung, they pile into Chan's (dad's) 2015 Chrysler and pull out of the driveway. The party is relatively close, both Hyunjin and Changbin living in the 'rich kids' area, and it's not long before they hear music, a thumping, hip-hop bass and see the extensive line of cars and mass amounts of students.

Hyunjin may only be in his second year of high school, but shit, can he throw a party.

It's seconds after they're in the door and people have already started coming up to them. Changbin ignores the kids (he calls everyone kid, despite the fact the 'kids' he's talking to are Chan's age— one of them is named Woojin, he's in Chan's music theory class and comes around sometimes) and surveys the house. It's hazy, either from a smoke machine or real smoke, but it smells kind of fake; maple-y, which means the real shit hasn't been started yet.

It always takes some time and a little alcohol to break out the weed (and other ominous, untrustworthy drugs), though Changbin doesn't mind. He wants to enjoy enough of the party— the entirety of it, from the barely there lights, to the fake-ID bought beer and stolen from Hyunjin's parents hard liquor, to the pulsing music thrumming through the walls and floors, and the sweaty, dancing bodies that come with it— before he's too drunk/high to remember it. What's the fun in going out if you can't even be sure of what happened?

Jisung is gone, probably off to find the few other second years that are rebellious enough to come when it's upperclassmen exclusively with a few exceptions, one of whom is the party host himself and the other whom is Han Jisung. He's a party animal: you want someone to start karaoke, or dance on tables and freestyle, or play beer pong, or roll joints, Jisung's the one you want, though he won't drink or smoke. Changbin's not sure why, but the kid won't and hasn't ever needed to be under the influence to have a good time.

The opposite goes for Changbin; why the fuck would he come to a party without getting buzzed at the least? How else will he lose himself in the music and dance and say crass things and let his vision blur just enough so he feels that high that you can only get when you're truly _living_.

By the time Changbin has found where the liquor is, Chan's got a girl wrapped around his waist. She's cute, short, dark hair cut above her shoulders and bangs, in shorts that show off a little too much leg. Chan's mentioned her before, he thinks. Her name is Eun-something, and she's a singer too. Not Changbin's type.

Though Changbin's type isn't anything like Chan's, in fact, it's quite the opposite. Like, right now, red cup full of vodka and some kind of fruit juice in hand, Changbin has his eyes set on what might be the prettiest boy he's ever seen.

(Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but God, this boy is fucking handsome.) 

(His hair is dyed a dark, chocolate-brown, and parted just off the middle of his forehead in this beautiful, messy arc, and his eyes are just, well, they're just black, but still, and his lips. Fucking fuck, his lips.)

And this pretty boy just so happens to be dancing with Ha Minjae. Why? Changbin doesn't know. But what he does know is that he's not happy about that, because if anyone's making a good impression on the new kid it'll be Changbin, not fucking Minjae.

It's not that Minjae has ever done anything to Changbin, he just doesn't like him. Doesn't like the fact that he thinks he's all that, that he's six feet and still growing, that he acts so nice to everyone. It doesn't matter how nice you seem, Changbin knows no one is ever truly that nice, and Minjae definitely is no saint.

And maybe that's why Changbin feels the need to make his way over there, swerving through couples that need to get a room so he's close enough that he can fake bumping into Pretty Boy and maybe (maybe) spill his drink on Minjae and piss him off a little.

It goes a little like this:

"Oh, fuck, sorry," Changbin says to Pretty Boy after faking a stumble and smashing into his shoulder, vodka-juice mixture splashing on to Minjae's (unfortunately) white shirt. 

"It's okay," Pretty Boy responds as Minjae draws back with a sour expression on his face. 

_Holy fucking fuck me up_ , Changbin thinks. _This boy's voice is deep as hell_.

It also has a lilt of some other language, an accent that Changbin isn't familiar. In Seoul, you get lots of different people: Busan, Daegu, Seongnam, too many to count. But this— this isn't one Changbin can distinguish.

Minjae has been staring at Changbin as Changbin stares (up) at Pretty Boy, obviously waiting for some sort of apology that he won't be getting. Minjae sighs, heavily, and looks over at Pretty Boy.

"I'm gonna go see if I can... wash this out," he says tiredly and stalks away after a nod from his unnamed companion.

"So, you new around here, Pretty Boy?" Changbin asks the boy standing awkwardly in front of him. The name kind of just slips out, but Changbin doesn't mind that much. It's all part of his charm.

"Sorry?" the foreigner says, cocking his head to the side and Changbin kind of just wants to die a little at the way his hair falls into his eyes.

"Are you new in Seoul, Pretty Boy?" Changbin enunciates, stepping forward so he can clearly see the freckles that litter the boys face.

"Ah, I'm... from Australia. Pretty?" he says, forehead crinkling as he repeats pretty. Changbin grins and nods.

"Yes, pretty. What's your name?" 

"Felix," Felix says nervously.

Changbin's smile widens and he mouths it to himself. Felix. Cute name for a cute boy. 

"I'm Changbin."

"Nice to meet you," Felix says and sticks out his hand.

Changbin chuckles a little (because who shakes hands these days?) and grabs his hand, though instead of shaking it, he pulls the boy in closer— till he can see the hollow of Felix's collarbone from where it's peeking out of the hem of his shirt, till he can feel how fast Felix's heart is thumping— and, downing the rest of his drink (and tossing the empty cup who knows where) whispers up to him:

"Let's dance, Felix-seu."

(Changbin's never even heard of the name Felix and what the fuck kind of name ends in x and Changbin's English isn't that good and the name comes out more slurred than it should.)

(Felix doesn't mind because he kind of just nods with this hazy look in his eyes and stutters out an "okay" and let's Changbin tug him further onto the dance floor.)

(Something by BIGBANG is playing and oh, there's the real smoke and Changbin can't help but finally breathe and just— let go.)

(He's letting go with this beautiful boy in front of him who's kind of awkward but kind of not, and Changbin's really wants to kiss this boy, to just grab him by the neck and pull him down and smash their lips together, but he won't, because he just— he won't.)

(But he wants to.)

(And Jesus Christ, Jisung come over here and look at this boy dance. Where's Chan? Tell him to come here and let's just watch this boy dance, because he's lost himself (he's let go) and his eyes are closed and Changbin is momentarily stunned and how can a human move their body like that?)

Then it all comes crashing right back down when who but cock-blocker (as if Changbin was actually going to get laid tonight) Ha Minjae decided to resurface, all awkwardly and kind of (maybe, probably) pissed at Changbin because that fruit juice-vodka did not come out of his shirt.

"Felix!" he shouts, and the sound of his voice makes Changbin's blood curdle. Felix stops dancing, which really makes Changbin want to punch someone (cough, cough, Minjae) because he _stops dancing_.

"Yeah, hyung?"

Hyung? Which means Changbin's older than Felix if he's calling Minjae hyung. Which is fucking fantastic because right now the only person calling him hyung is Jisung and that's way too casually for Changbin's liking. 

"We're leaving now, c'mon."

"Oh, okay," Felix says, arms hanging by his side. He turns to Changbin. "Bye—"

Changbin cuts him off before he has a chance to finish his sentence. "Hyung. Same age as Minjae, third year."

Felix smiles and _Jesus fuck how can he be more stunning_? "Bye, hyung. I hope to see you around," and he pronounces all the letters in all the words and it's adorable. (And then he waves— oh my God, he waves and Changbin dies a little, though maybe it's the vodka making him a little too sensitive.)

"Bye, Felixie," Changbin says (sings) and Felix blushes, waves again and then walks away sticking close to Minjae. Changbin doesn't take his eyes away from the two until they've disappeared into the sea of dancing bodies.

Changbin stands there long after Felix has left, feet burning holes into the floor. He's kind of star-struck, and also kind of drunk, and it's only after he's jostled by a random kid— Chan's age, always around that kid who goes by BamBam—who shouts, "Let's get it!" that he finally regains his senses and stumbles out into the kitchen.

"Where's Jisung?" Changbin asks Hyunjin, who's swinging back a beer.

"Jisungie? I don't know, man, last time I saw him he was out by the pool," Hyunjin says casually. "D'you want a beer or something, hyung? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Not a ghost, Hyunjin. An angel." Changbin's admittedly more drunk than he thought; though he can only remember drinking a little of the vodka before he threw it all over Minjae. Oh— there was that pre-party beer that Chan had, which _might've_ had a bit of whiskey in it.

"An angel? Says tough guy I-eat-freshmen-for-lunch Seo Changbin," Hyunjin laughs, and Changbin scoffs, accepts the beer Hyunjin holds out for him and wanders off to find Jisung.

He finds him out by the pool, just like Hyunjin said, flannel tied around his shoulders like a cape and balancing on the diving board, a quartet of third year girls giggling around him. There's different music out here, more pop-ish, recent BTS kind of music, that has people stripping off their clothes and jumping in the pool, even though it's, like, September, and not really swimming weather. That doesn't stop them though, and it seems as if Hyunjin knew this would happen because he's (graciously) provided towels, in little piles around the lounge chairs. 

"Jisung-ah!" Changbin shouts, after chugging from and tossing away his mostly-full beer can. Jisung stops, murmurs an apology to the girls, and with a flourish and bow, hops off the side of the diving board and jogs over to Changbin. 

"What's up, hyung? Ready to go home, already?" he teases. 

And usually Changbin would scowl and probably (most likely)(yeah, definitely) shove Jisung. But instead he says, "Jisung, have you ever been in love?"

Jisung's face crumples with confusion. "What?"

"Because I have. I am. Right now, right this very moment. I just met the love of my life," Changbin drawls, falling into Jisung's side.

"What are you on, hyung?" Jisung laughs, but he's dragging Changbin closer to the house in hopes of finding Chan, because _really, hyung, I'm too young for this_.

"Nothing, Jisungie! What, do you think I'm _lying_? Is that it? I would never lie about something so special." And maybe, maybe, maybe, all this alcohol is starting to catch up with him.

"Okay, well, could you show me the person you're in love with?" Jisung asks as he hauls an unstable Changbin in through the back door, his voice struggling with the word love. Jisung knows nothing about love.

"Well... You see, the thing is that he left already! Because I spilled vodka and juice on Ha Minjae's shirt and that's who he came to the party with, I guess, and then Minjae couldn't get the stain out—" Changbin pauses to smile at his slight victory, and then continues, "so he left, and took Felix with him."

"Fe— Fe—what?" Jisung says, for what feels like the thousandth time.

"Pe-lli-gseu," Changbin draws out in heavily accented Korean, as if Jisung is stupid. "Felix! He's a foreigner, isn't that so cool, Sungie?"

"Yeah, hyung, totally," and it's clear to everyone that Jisung does not think that's so cool. In fact, he could care less about this whole situation: he just wants to go home because a drunk Changbin is the opposite of a fun Changbin and Jisung does not like being a babysitter.

Finally, after ages of bumping into people and apologizing while Changbin tries to take other peoples drinks and _won't shut up about Felix_ , Jisung finds Chan. He's in one of the family rooms with a group of assorted people. Changbin picks out a few upperclassmen he knows; Rosé, Jungkook, Mingyu, until he spots Chan, and then Jisung and everyone else is long forgotten as he vaults himself in the brown-haired boy's arms.

"Changbin, wasted already?" Chan jokes as he heaves the smaller, drunker boy up onto the couch.

"No, hyung, why does everyone keep saying that?" Changbin whines, draping himself across Chan's and the person sitting next to Chan's lap.

"He's beyond wasted, Chan-hyung," Jisung complains, leaning back against the wall.

"I'm not wasted!" Changbin shouts, fist just missing Chan's face. "I'm _in love_."

"In love?" Chan questions. "Since when?"

"Since I met the most beautiful boy ever, Chan," Changbin says, severely annoyed with the fact that no one seems to be taking him seriously. So what if he's drunk out of his mind? It's not his fault he's such a lightweight; it's just that he's on the smaller side and so he gets drunk faster, big deal. And so what if it was, like, yesterday that he was saying to Chan and Jisung that he 'was never gonna fall in love, love's for fucking losers'. So what? He's a changed man. 

"Let's get you home, Changbin," Chan says with a smile in his voice, not even mad about Changbin dropping honorifics. 

"See you later, Minho," Chan says, revealing the name of the other person Changbin was lying on. Minho smiles and waves, and maybe it's his drunken imagination, but Changbin is almost one thousand percent sure Jisung _blushes_ and waves back and how does Jisung even know Minho?

But that's not to worry about, not when the real problem is figuring out how to sober up Changbin in— less than twenty-five minutes, actually, in time for his midnight curfew, because if Changbin's mother even _suspects_ Changbin has had any sort of alcohol, she will beat his _and_ Chan's _and_ Jisung's asses.

It's going to be a long, Felix-filled twenty-five (-four)(-three) minutes.


	2. yes no x 24.5

Felix hasn't had any alcohol but he's kind of floating. It's like, he's on the ground, he knows he is, but his feet are hovering just the tiniest little bit, and it's hard to catch his balance, and he keeps tumbling into Minjae, but he's got the biggest smile on his face. 

"Who was that guy, Minjae? Changbin is his name, I think," Felix says as they pass a strip of convenience stores and fast-food restaurants. They're walking home because neither of them have a car, and even if they did Felix doesn't have his license and Minjae's a little buzzed. 

"Same age as me," Minjae replies. He seems a little sour over his ruined shirt, but his voice is lighter than Felix would expect if he had something against Changbin. "Goes to the same school you're starting at, I think. I wouldn't get too interested, kid. He's not— good, persay. Skips class, smokes, drinks. Stirs shit up whenever he can, you know?"

Felix knows. They were kids like that back in Sydney; kids who dressed different, talked different, acted different. Felix knows firsthand, because those were the type of kids who would pick on him when he was young and small, before he got his growth spurt and his voice deepened. And he told himself he would stay away from those type of kids; told himself over and over and over, but Changbin. Changbin is toxic and harmless all in one and Felix is intrigued.

"You hear me, Lix?" Minjae's only known Felix for a couple days, they're neighbours and the same age, so it's obvious they've been forced together by their parents, and in that short time Minjae's already given him a nickname. "Stay away from him."

"Okay, hyung," Felix says a little dejectedly. It's easier to agree than to explain himself because in all truth, he doesn't even know how to explain it to _himself_. 

Minjae smiles and swings an arm around Felix. "There's plenty of other kids, Lixxie, seriously. You'll find someone."

"Yeah, 'course, hyung," Felix replies. Minjae goes to some other school, not the performing arts one Felix will be attending, which sucks. At least if he and Minjae went to the same school Felix wouldn't have to worry about making friends. He hates that part.

It's eleven-thirty when Felix gets home. His parents had stayed up waiting for him, and the TV plays dimly in the background as they ask how his night went.

"Good, mom," he replies, but he's distracted by the bubble of anxiety in his chest at the thought of school tomorrow. "I'm gonna go to bed, get a good sleep for tomorrow."

Before they reply, he's already taking the stairs two at a time to get to his room. It's still empty, save for his bed and night table and desk. The closet has some of his clothes hanging up, but most of them are still in the boxes that line the walls. He hasn't found time to redecorate yet. 

He doesn't bother doing anything other than shrugging off his jeans and shirt and flopping onto his bed, contemplating what Minjae said. Felix knows that he should follow his advice. He knows in his head, that that's the good thing to do. The safe decision to take. But maybe Felix is tired of being safe. Maybe he wants to live a little, wants to make the wrong decisions on purpose. Changbin seems like the type of person who makes the wrong decisions on purpose.

Also he's cute.

And he called Felix pretty. No one's ever called Felix pretty.

Felix has a lot of thinking to do.

 

 

It's Monday which means starting at School of Performing Arts Seoul which means death. Felix already hates school and now he has to go to one where A) he has to wear an ugly ass uniform (it's fucking _yellow_ , who makes their uniform yellow?), B) he doesn't speak Korean even close to fluently, and C) he has no friends. 

Nice.

Felix has spent weeks learning all about SOPA ("as it's commonly referred to," says Felix's mom). He knows that it's the "most prestigious special-purpose high school in Korean performing art". He knows it's "equipped with new high-tech facilities." He knows the school motto: "Let the light shine on all the world." He knows when it was founded, and the rough estimate of how many students graduated in in 2015— 1966 and 11, 935. He's seen floor plans and maps and brochures, e-mails and letters and registration papers, but it's still not enough to prepare him. 

With shaky hands, he pulls on his uniform. Black pants, which fit properly in the waist and thighs, but stop almost two inches above his ankles, and a suit jacket in this horrid shade of yellow (Felix does _not_ like yellow) over top a white button down. And he has to wear a tie. He spends fifteen of the twenty minutes it takes him to get dressed YouTubing how to tie ties and still can't figure out how.

His mom helps him while his pride digs its grave and his ears fall off listening to her babble about how handsome he looks.

"Okay, okay, mom, I have to go," Felix says (lies), pulling away from her before she can start fixing his hair too. "Seriously, I've got to catch my bus!"

"What about breakfast? I made eggs and kimchi!"

"I'm not hungry!" and then he's out the door, gone to his bus stop which doesn't come for another ten minutes. Sure, he lied about having to catch it, but he didn't lie about the breakfast thing; anything he eats will be coming back up again, 110%. And at least this gives him time to calm his anxiety which is so intense he thinks his heart will fly out of his chest.

He's the first one to his bus stop, for obvious reasons. It's breezy out, and fuck, does Felix wish he had thought to grab a jacket. His hands grasp nervously at the straps of his bag as he looks around. It's different than Australia, really different, but it's... nice? It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

When the bus comes, it's early, and he's one of the first on the bus. There are two kids sitting near the back laughing so loudly the entire neighborhood can probably hear them, and a couple on their own. One of the laughing kids has obnoxiously bright red hair and round wire-rimmed glasses. The other has black hair and a charming smile.

Felix keeps his head down and finds a seat in the middle of the bus; neutral territory, and spends the entire time with his headphones in, though nothing's playing. The bus fills up, and almost every seat is taken, leaving Felix sitting hoping and praying he won't have to share his seat with someone.

He doesn't.

The bus pulls up to school and Felix is one of the first off the bus, dodging through groups of reuniting friends to make his way to the office where he'll get his schedule and locker number. The secretary is nice and after Felix's unlocked his locker (and realized he has nothing to put in it) he heads to his first class.

Math. Felix doesn't really have any solid feelings towards math. He's okay at it, low 80s, usually, and he'd rather do math than a few other subjects, so there's that. But he can't help but think (and worry) that math in Korean will be 100 times harder than it was back home in Australia. And also, what if the teachers talk too fast and he doesn't understand what they're saying? Or what if they ask him something and he can't answer and he embarrasses himself in front of everyone?

School hasn't even started and it's already a nightmare.

 

 

The red-haired boy from the bus is assigned the seat next to Felix. His name is Seungmin and he keeps throwing notes (like literally folding them into paper airplanes and chucking them full force) across the class to his friend, who Felix assumes is the same one he was sitting with on the bus in the morning, but he can't be sure. Quite a few, if not the majority of their class have black hair.

"Hey, you were on my bus this morning, weren't you?" Seungmin whispers when the teacher turns around to start writing the lesson on the whiteboard. "You sat all alone."

"Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, that was me," Felix replies awkwardly. His cheeks are burning red and he can't tear his gaze away from the front of the class.

"Don't you have any friends? Also, how come I've never seen you around? Did you transfer from another school?"

 _Jesus Christ, what's with this kid and his questions_? The other boy keeps looking back from his seat at the front and making weird face signals to Seungmin.

"I'm... new. From Australia."

"Woah, no way!" Seungmin practically shouts. Everyone including the teacher turn around to look at the two, and Felix covers his face with his arm, memorizing the yellow creases in his jacket sleeve while Seungmin sheepishly apologizes.

"You can be friends with me and Hyunjin, that guy over there," and it's like Hyunjin's psychic because he turns around and shoots them a smile.

"Thanks," Felix says, and actually, legitimately smiles. 'D'you think I could sit with you guys at lunch?"

"Yeah, 'course! You can meet Jeongin, too, he sits with us mostly," Seungmin says and says and says and says and he talks the entire class. The entire 75 minutes, which Felix doesn't even know is possible. He eventually stops listening, partly because Seungmin's voice has started to slur a little and it's harder for Felix to understand, but also because he really should pay attention to the lesson.

Which he doesn't get anyway so there's that.

The bell rings a minute early (Felix is keeping track), and Felix glances down at his schedule with a face of regret. Why did he choose to do grade 11 chemistry again? His guidance councilor back in Sydney had said that he had a decent grade in science and should consider taking one in grade ten, for some weird, lengthy reason Felix can't be bothered to remember, but he doesn't actually enjoy science. Or chemistry. Too many numbers and elements and things to remember. Plus, he doesn't really know any grade elevens (not that he kknows many grade tens either).

 _Except for Changbin_ , says a voice in Felix's head that he tries to ignore.

"So, uh, where can I meet you guys after lunch?" Felix asks as Hyunjin joins him and Seungmin.

"D'you know where the literature hall is? Jinnie's locker is there, number three-fifty something," Seungmin answers, and Felix nods and waves bye as they part ways.

Navigating through new schools can be tricky, but Felix (somehow) finds his way to the small section of the school dedicated to science and into his chem class, where his teacher—his really old, should be retired teacher—is standing in the doorway. Felix hates it when teachers stand in the doorway. 

"Hello," Felix says politely and extremely awkwardly, bowing slightly to the teacher.

The teacher says hello back, though gruffly and quickly and Felix almost misses it. And then he enters the class and it's semi-full and okay, this isn't so bad, and then he's there.

 _He's here he's here he's here he's here_.

He as in Changbin. Changbin as in the devilishly handsome bad boy from the party on Friday. Changbin as in—

the boy who's staring at him right now, ohmygod. 

And Felix really hopes there is (isn't) a seating arrangement so he can sit next to (far away) from Changbin because he really likes (is so nervous around) him and this is an exciting (stressful) experience and the bell is ringing.

The bell is ringing and Felix is standing at the front of the class, and he didn't notice before, but as people walk in they're giving him weird looks because _who fucking stands at the front of the class just pick a seat, idiot_. He sits down in the front row and shoves his hands under his thighs, resisting the urge to cover his face in embarrassment. 

_Why am I like this_? Felix thinks/cries to himself. _Who decided they would make me into the horrible, awkward, cringy mess that I am today? And in front of Cha _—__

__"There will be no assigned seating as I trust you are all old enough and responsible enough to choose who you are sitting next to. I hope you chose wisely because these will be your seats for the rest of the year," the teacher, Mr. Kim, says and Felix deflates a little at his words. There are two girls on either side of him, and Changbin is an entire ocean way._ _

__But then again, it's not like he even likes Changbin. He doesn't even know him, other than that he's Felix's hyung and his name is Changbin. And he called Felix pretty. But that's pretty much his only redeeming quality, with the exception that he's nice to look at and he gives off that bad boy vibe everyone loves. Still, he's done nothing to Felix that would make him want to like Changbin. Also, he seems kind of douche-y, coming from how he's sitting at the back and how he wears his uniform and what Minjae said about him._ _

__So Felix forgets about Changbin and takes out his paper and pencil and writes his notes, even though he doesn't understand most of the lesson. He's not even sure that he'll be able to read this later, that's how messy his writing is. (Not that the fact that it's in Korean and Felix can barely read Korean isn't deterring as well)._ _

__When class is over, Felix has a sinking feeling in his stomach at the thought that he might possibly fail chemistry and hurries out of class as soon as the bell rings. Felix has never failed a class before and the mere idea of it is daunting, even though it's the first day and he shouldn't be worrying about this._ _

__Felix shoves his worrying feeling aside, replacing it with the idea of new friends. Seungmin and Hyunjin and Jeongin, who he's supposed to meet in the literature hall at Hyunjin's locker. They're there already, at least Felix thinks so, assuming the bright red head belongs to Seungmin._ _

__"Hey," Felix says when he's pushed through the currents of people crowding the hallway._ _

__"Hey," Hyunjin nods, hefting his bag onto his shoulder. There's a kid behind him, a couple inches shorter with black hair and braces. Typical freshman. "This is Jeongin."_ _

__"Hello, hyung!" Jeongin chirps and Seungmin playfully ruffles his hair as they walk down to the cafeteria._ _

__"Hey," because that's apparently all Felix knows how to say._ _

__The cafeteria is a decent size, and the tables are filling up quickly. They sit near the middle, around all the other kids their age, and Jeongin disappears with money to buy his (and Seungmin's after some pleading and a few promised favors) lunch. Hyunjin pulls out a Thermos with kimchi jjigae, a small container of rice, and chopsticks._ _

__Felix has instant ramen (that he heats up awkwardly at the school's microwaves)._ _

__When they've finally all been seated and are eating, Hyunjin says, "Hey, were you at the party this weekend?" to Felix._ _

__"The one on Friday?" he replies through a mouthful of ramen. His cheeks flush and he swallows quickly before repeating himself._ _

__"What other one was there? Jinnie throws the best parties," Seungmin answers, cheeks bulged with rice and meat._ _

__"Y—You threw that party? Wasn't it like— seniors only or somethin'?" Felix is astonished; never in his mind did he think Hyunjin would've been the one to host that party, or any party for that matter. But now, looking at him again, he seems exactly like the kind of sophomore who would be cool enough to pull it off._ _

__"Hell yeah, it was," Hyunjin's smirking to himself and Jeongin's rolling his eyes and hiding a cheeky smile._ _

__"Hyung won't let me come till next year," Jeongin whines._ _

__("You're too young to be around all that shit, Jeongin."_ _

__"Am not, hyung!")_ _

__"Wow, that's..."_ _

__"Insane? Yes, it is. One of these days you'll be caught by your parents and then what'll happen?" Seungmin seems to be the only logical one of the bunch._ _

__"Whatever, Seungminnie. Anyway, you were there, Felix?" Hyunjin asks and why does everyone call him Felix with a P instead of an F and a 'gseu' instead of an x?_ _

__"Um, yeah. I went with my neighbour, Minjae? He doesn't go here. It was... cool, I guess," Felix says and Hyunjin looks a little disappointed at his answer, so he quickly follows up with, "But I've never really been to a party so 'm not sure how cool normal parties are. Sorry."_ _

__"Nah, it's cool. Did you meet anyone?"_ _

__"Oh, um, yeah," his heart is stuttering stuttering stuttering. "Changbin was—is his name. He called me 'Pretty Boy'?"_ _

__"You met Seo Changbin?!" Seungmin shouts ( _again_ ), almost vaulting himself over the table in excitement. His palms are splayed against the table holding himself up and he's really close, so close to Felix that Felix is sublty inching back._ _

__"Um... yeah?"_ _

__What's the deal with this Changbin guy?_ _

__"Changbin is like... legendary! He's so badass, y'know, smoking and vaping and whatever and he skips class and badmouths teachers and he's been in fights and I'm kinda scared of him, to be honest," Seungmin always talks for eons, but this is quite overwhelming._ _

__"Jeez, back off, Minnie, don't you know what personal space is?" Hyunjin pulls him back by the collar of his jacket._ _

__"Wait wait wait— he called you pretty?" Jeongin cuts in, eyes a little wide._ _

__"Yeah?" Felix is so confused and he's not sure why three boys are sitting staring at him like he's some kind of alien._ _

__"Dude, that's kind of unheard of, just saying," Hyunjin says smiling. Felix shakes his head a little, like he's trying to process everything that's going on around him._ _

__"Well, Minjae already told me to stay away from him, so you don't have to warn me," Felix says, finishing off the rest of his ramen._ _

__"Well, I mean, why would you want to stay away? He's like super cool, why wouldn't you wanna be friends with him? If he called me pretty, I'd be all over that," Seungmin says dreamily, and maybe it's his imagination, or maybe Hyunjin glares a little at Seungmin._ _

__"O—Okay. Well, I'm gonna go to my locker, maybe stop by the library later or something. See you guys later," Felix says and walks out of the cafeteria, mind even more confused than before._ _

__Changbin: yes, or Changbin; no?_ _

__Yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no yes n—_ _

__And Felix is left with a head full of yes's and no's, Seungmin's and Minjae's, and confusing chemistry notes._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was posted under my wattpad (angelictae-) first, so hop on over there if you would enjoy faster updates
> 
> otherwise, i hope you enjoyed!! thank you to all the lovely comments i've received


	3. ppushu ppushu snacks and cotton candy vape juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> felix has some difficulty with his homework and changbin doesn't do his at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 39039384832 years late and i'm sorry but please enjoy and comment :)))))

"How was school, sweetie?" Felix's mom says when they're (mom, dad, Felix, Rachel, and Olivia) seated around the kitchen table for dinner. Three heads look up and one answers. It's not Felix.

"Fun! I made lots of new friends, everyone was so nice," Olivia says smiling. Felix and Rachel look at each other and roll their eyes. Olivia is the outgoing type— and the only one, at that.

"How about you, Felix?"

"It was okay, I guess," Felix says, and finishes off the food on his plate. He's the first done by a mile. "Can I go over to Minjae's? I need help with chemistry."

"I don't see why not, honey," his mom smiles, and Felix thanks her, brings his plate to the sink and grabs his bag, rushing out the front door. Minjae did say he would help Felix with his chem homework, but it's likely that's not what's actually going to happen.

Point proven when they end up sitting on beanbags in Minjae's room, Xbox controllers in hand. They're playing Overwatch. Felix played a lot of video games back at home, especially when he was younger and didn't have a lot of friends. He found solace in the characters, and would rather waste away in his basement with his shitty PS3 then go play with the neighborhood kids, who would play stupid games like Tag But Only Felix Is It The Entire Time and every possible parody of that game.

So, yeah, maybe Felix is really good at Overwatch. So what?

So: "Holy shit, dude, can you fucking _not_?" Minjae whines.

"Not what?" Felix laughs, though he knows exactly what.

"Not fucking— ah, shit," Minjae breaks off.

Minjae is exactly the type of person who recreationally plays video games when they have some free time, for normal amounts of one to two hours, and then goes outside for six or seven hours. He swims and plays football and baseball, and works out, like every day. His shoulders are wider than Felix's future.

It's only fair that Felix is good at this one thing.

"How was your first day, kid?" Minjae asks after a while. They're waiting for the next round to load.

Felix thinks about lying, saying it was great and he made so many friends and he loves all his classes. And he almost does— he's so, so close— but there's something about Minjae that makes him want to tell the truth.

"Honestly? It kind of sucked. Except for meeting Seungmin and Hyunjin and Jeongin, I guess. But I can barely understand what's going on, and my notes are so messy and Changbin—" Felix cuts off at Changbin, shooting a worried glance at Minjae. He doesn't want to upset him, but Felix didn't really do anything _wrong_ did he?

"Changbin what? He wasn't messing with you or anything was he?" Minjae is like everyone's older brother; always looking out and ready to protect those younger then him. It's kind of endearing.

"No, no, he's just... in my chemistry class. We don't even sit near each other or anything, so it's fine. I don't even know why I brought it up."

 _Because you like him, moron_ , that annoying voice in Felix's head says.

"Oh. Guess that's not too bad," Minjae says as his player is sniped. He sighs overdramatically and tosses his controller to the side. "But on the other side of things— how in the hell did you manage to become friends with Hwang Hyunjin?"

Felix blushes, something he does often when there's too much attention focused on him. A habit of being picked on. "Not sure, actually. The kid I sit beside in math, Seungmin, he's friends with him. They're like complete opposites."

"Hyunjin is the epitome of popular, which might sound good but there's a shit ton of things that come with it that aren't," Minjae muses. He doesn't sound jealous— when is Ha Minjae jealous of anybody anyways?— just purely factual. He smirks," I would know."

"Hyung," Felix groans, shoving Minjae in the shoulder.

"What? Co-captain of the baseball team, dating the prettiest girl in school, consistent party attender. Nice, funny, good-looking." A shrug of Minjae's eyebrows before he continues. "Who wouldn't want to be friends with me?"

Changbin, probably. But that's beside the point.

"Speaking of pretty girls, Lixie," Minjae teases. "See any at school today? Now that I'm taken, I'll have to live precariously through you."

Felix knows he's joking; in fact he's met Minjae's girlfriend, Yeri, a couple weeks ago and they are so obviously in love that it's not even funny. They're the type who will marry right out of high school and live the rest of their life together happily ever after.

Which is great and all, but Felix didn't see any pretty girls, because he doesn't care about pretty girls. He cares about pretty boys. Eg. Changbin. But he can't tell Minjae that because Minjae doesn't like Changbin, and he'd rather avoid the whole 'oh, yeah, by the way, I'm gay' thing.

"There were a couple," Felix says nonchalantly. He's scrambling on the inside to recall the looks and names of girls in his classes. "This one girl named Heejin, I think. She's cute."

"Ah, cute, how?" Minjae smirks, nudging Felix who apparently is not coming off as awkward as he feels.

"Just... I don't know... Long, dark hair. Cute... face?"

You know when something is so cringeworthy your whole body kind of shrinks into itself, and your face screws up and you start sweating and, if it's bad enough, you want to disappear into a black hole and never come back?

Yeah, that's Felix right now.

Minjae looks at him a little oddly, but shrugs it off and gets up. "Wanna get something to eat?"

Felix, neglecting the fact that he has already eaten dinner, grins, stands up, and says, " Hell yeah, hyung," and the two make their way into Minjae's kitchen, raiding the cupboards and fridge for snacks. They come out with tteokbokki crackers, some kind of sweet potato chips, and Ottogi Ppushu Ppushu (which Felix learns are dry ramen noodles with flavorings that he loves), and return to Minjae's room and put on a movie. It's Korean, obviously, but Minjae put on English subtitles thankfully. 

"So what did you think?" Minjae asks after it finishes.

And Felix would normally say his opinion here but he was accidentally not paying attention. For the entire movie. Whoops. He could blame it on the fact that the movie was boring, or that he was tired but in reality it's because— guess what? He was thinking about Changbin again.

"Uh... It was good, hyung," Felix says nervously, scared that somehow that was the wrong thing to say. When Minjae smiles and starts talking about his favourite part, Felix lets out a breath of relief. "I'm gonna go home now, I think."

"Oh, shit, yeah, it's getting late. See you later, Lixie," in that annoying sing-song voice Minjae has.

At home, Felix collapses into his desk chair instead of his bed because he still has homework. He regrets staying to watch the movie. He regrets playing on the Xbox for so long. He regrets— he does _not_ regret those Ppushu Ppushu snacks. Everything else though, Felix regrets.

And maybe it would've been a good idea to ask Minjae for chemistry help like he said he was going to, because Felix has _no_ idea what he's doing. His writing is too messy to really understand anything, and it's even harder to try and decipher the Hangul letters and words and try to translate them to English to find words he still doesn't know the meaning of.

What's the difference between ions and cations and anions? Why does he have to know the octet rule or what a full octet is? And Standard Atomic Notation? Felix knows scientific notation... kind of. At least he knows the button on his calculator that he doesn't have any more.

So basically, he's screwed. He's actually being fucked over already and it's one day into the semester. At this rate, Felix will have to live at school, nose in the books studying and translating and doing extra work to even pass the class. There's not even a point in hoping for a good grade anymore. Just a 50 will do.

Felix takes a deep breath, letting his head fall back as he stares at the ceiling. There's a knot in his throat and he's trying his best to keep the tears at bay.

Tears. Is he seriously gonna cry? _Crying's for girls_ , he tries to remind himself as he grits his teeth and digs his nails into his palms. He wipes at his eyes angrily and sits back up, determined to at least start on the homework, even though it's close to midnight. 

Felix flips open his textbook and is met with a bunch of foreign letters he doesn't understand. He can make out some letters separately —like he knows thatㅏ is 'a', and ㅅis 's'— but seeing them all jumbled together in words —생체 분자스 (after Google Translate: biomolecule (?))— proves to be harder than simply knowing the alphabet. Which is why Felix finds himself watching "How to Learn Korean in Ten Minutes!!" videos at three in the morning that do not work and leave Felix falling asleep in class with no homework done the next day.

 

 

 

There's this place in Jisung's neighborhood that they (Chan, Jisung, and Changbin) usually hang out at. It's secluded, a concrete slab that's about 3 acres give or take, that was supposed to be made into a skate park but wasn't. The city didn't have enough money, or most likely, used it for something more tourist-y and worthwhile. 

But yeah, it's away from people and kids and it's the perfect spot to hang out, skip class and vape and blast their music. It's Changbin's getaway; from school, from home, from _life_. So what if he doesn't even know how to skateboard? Sometimes Jisung brings the longboard he got from a thrift store and they mess around a little, like last summer when Changbin thought he was being cool but then wiped out and had to get stitches on his arm. Sometimes Chan plays clips of music he's working on and Jisung and Changbin make up raps and melodies to go along with it.

Today after a long, tiring day of barely making it through class (Changbin's never one to do his homework) (or copy notes) (or do anything really), Changbin finds Chan and Jisung at Chan's locker after third period.

"Wanna get out of here?" Changbin says as Chan slams his locker door shut.

Jisung laughs, "Skipping fourth again? And don't you have detention after school?" But they're already on their way out, heading to 'their spot' without having to communicate it verbally. 

"Literature is a waste of my time, and you know it," Changbin scowls, taking off his school jacket and replacing it with his black hoodie. His pants are altered; tightened and rolled up at the bottoms 'cause he's a little short, his button-up shirt is untucked and his tie is loose. 

Number one reason Changbin gets detention is for disregarding how the uniform should be worn but he could care less when he knows he looks good.

"Besides, this brat hasn't been to detention since ninth grade, what's one more gonna do? They're probably already not gonna let you graduate," Chan jokes, ruffling Changbin's hair— an annoying habit he needs to stop.

"Fuck off, Channie-hyung," Changbin murmurs. "Are _you_ gonna be able to graduate this year?" 

Chan and Jisung don't hear him because they're too busy laughing.

"So, hyung," Jisung says in that taunting voice of his. Changbin's already suspicious of what he's about to say. "Love of your life from Hwang's party is in my third period history class."

Changbin stiffens immediately at the mention of Felix. He was drunk off his ass at that party— he doesn't even like Felix. Sure he's cute, but so are a lot of people and Changbin isn't a relationship type guy. He just wanted to piss Minjae off, not start something like this. This as in endless teasing from Jisung and Chan and some stupid tenth grader pining after him cause he called him pretty or cute or whatever.

"I was drunk, I didn't mean it," Changbin says, taking a drag from his vape. 

"Okay," Chan scoffs. It's clear they don't believe him. 

"I'm serious! I was drunk and trying to piss off Minjae, you know how I am."

"Yeah, we do know how you are Binnie-hyung," Jisung replies and Changbin thinks they've let it go. 

But then: "Which is why we know that you definitely like him," Chan finishes.

"I do not!" Changbin says, wanting to stomp his foot like a two-year old. "I don't even know his name."

"Yes, you do."

Yes, he does. But he won't admit that. 

"No, I don't, now leave me alone or I'm leaving," Changbin says, but he won't leave, even if they keep teasing him. Why would he want to go home and sit in a big, empty house while his mom bombards him with questions he doesn't want to answer? 

"Okay, we'll stop, hyung," Jisung complies, but Changbin misses the sly smirk on his face. 

"Finally!" Changbin drawls out and in the half a second he relaxes, Jisung snatches the vape out of Changbin's hand and bolts off, screaming unintelligible taunts that get Changbin fired up.

He bolts after him, screaming out after Jisung loud enough that the few people out turn to look at him. He doesn't really mind the attention; where others might quiet down or stop running completely and bow their heads in shame, Changbin screams louder and runs harder, especially when he sees the cloud of smoke echoing behind Jisung. He's already flung his bag off his back and onto the sidewalk to make his weight lighter, knowing that Chan will pick it up for him.

This may or may not be a daily occurrence.

It only takes him three minutes (two and a half of sprinting and the last half pathetic jogging when he's tired himself out) to catch up with Jisung, wrestle the vape out of his hands and drop to the ground, leaning his head back on the brick wall and trying to catch his breath. The overhang of the building casts enough shade that Changbin doesn't need to take off his sweater to speed up the cooling off process.

"If you wanted some, you only had to ask, Jisungie," Changbin says when his chest isn't heaving anymore.

"You wouldn't let me even if I did ask," Jisung says back, sitting beside Changbin. "Also— that flavor is shit hyung, you should get one of the ones that taste like cotton candy or somethin'."

"I'm not getting fucking cotton candy vape juice, Jisung, why would I waste my money on that?"

"You're practically rich, hyung, you can buy whatever you want!" Jisung exclaims and he's not wrong. Changbin's family is very well off, and everyone knows it.

"He's got a point, Binnie," Chan says as he rounds the corner, tossing Changbin's bag onto Changbin.

"Thanks, hyung," Changbin grins, throwing it to the side. "You're a life saver."

"I think I might need some aegyo to fully convince me," Chan says, smile and Australian accent creeping out.

Changbin's smile drops. "Hyung. No. Fuck— no."

"Alright, then I'm sure your mom won't mind knowing where you are," Chan drawls, and him and Jisung are full out beaming as Changbin snatches Chan's phone out of his hands.

"Fine, fine, I'll do it," he agrees painstakingly, and then motions over at Jisung. "Give me your phone."

"What, hyung, no! I wasn't even going to record it, I swear!"

"Yeah, right, brat," Changbin says, pocketing both phones. The look on his face is pure and utter disgust, in himself and what he's about to do. 

"C'mon, Binnie, we don't have all day here," Jisung says and Changbin shoots out a "that's hyung to you!" before he reluctantly plasters on a fake, cheesy smile and brings his hands to his face in two peace signs.

"Thank you so much—" Changbin's eyes are squeezed shut as his hands move to cup his face, "Channie-hyung for grabbing Binnie's bag!" Did he seriously just use third person? Changbin can feel the embarrassment festering in his chest. 

"You're a lifesaver!" Can a person 'XD' in real life? Because that's what he just did; small pointer finger jabbing into his puffed out cheeks. "I love you!" Changbin brings his arms up to make a heart, and as soon as the last syllable comes out of his mouth, his cheerful expression disappears and he buries his head in his hands.

Jisung is screaming, "I think I need new eyes!" and Chan is laughing so hard no noise is coming out and Changbin is so fucking done with everything that he's about to punch the wall.

"Fuck you guys," Changbin whines when they all finally settle down, but he's smiling too. "Seriously, I hate you."

"I can't believe you actually did that Binnie-hyung, you're the best!" Jisung laughs, and okay, yeah, Changbin doesn't quite mind being called the best, even if it came at the price of aegyo and eternal embarrassment.

"Whatever, kid," he mumbles, vape and bag lying by his side long forgotten. This place with these people is Changbin's escape and fuck, is he ever glad for it.

They stay there long into the evening, joking and talking and music-ing (Chan played a remix of As If It's Your Last that he'd been working on and Jisung and Changbin improvised the hook and chorus parts), only leaving when the sun is setting and Chan is too hungry to stay any longer. 

And how come since Jisung brought him up, Changbin can't stop thinking about Felix? He's been at the back of his head, there but not really there for too long now, and it's really confusing Changbin. He doesn't like the kid, he just wanted to piss of Minjae.

Right?


	4. i'm fine thank you, and you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> binnie and felix are not doing too well in chem and it's time to fix that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been too long i'M SORRY  
> i'm a piece of trash at updating consistently and i apologize greatly!!  
> i only have 2 exams left at school and then i'm done for the summer so that hopefully means more time to write!

It isn't a surprise to Changbin when he gets his chem test back and there's a failing grade on it in small, tight handwriting at the top corner. That annoys Changbin— why not make it big and bold like the girl's beside him, her 92 underlined with a 'good job' beside it? So what if he failed? He's not a coward and he's not afraid to let people see.

Besides, everyone already knows he failed— he skipped the lab that was a good part of the test and, no, he doesn't regret it. A little more cursing, hassling the teacher, and they'll pass him solely so they won't have to deal with him again next year. He's done this before, he knows how the system works.

Except— wait— is Mr. Kim seriously asking him to stay after class into his fucking lunch so that they can talk?

"About what?" Changbin wants to say, does say, anger staining his voice. The entire class is watching him with baited breath. He won't disappoint.

"You'll find out after class," Mr. Kim says, in that stupid, gentle voice he has that makes it sound like he thinks Changbin and everyone else on the planet is five years old.

"Actually, I don't think I will, because I'm not going to your stupid fucking meeting, and you can't make me either," Changbin smirks, and he knows at least three people have pulled out their phones and started recording.

Good. He hopes he looks a smug as he feels.

"You're right, Changbin, I can't make you. But what I _can_ do is fail you and make you retake this course until you're willing to put in the effort to pass. Or, you could come in at lunch and save yourself a whole semester. Your choice."

Changbin is stunned. Actually, physically shocked. His mouth is open in shock and his ears are burning at the sound of his classmates' judging murmurs. And, maybe, he has a little bit of newfound respect for his teacher. Maybe. Nothing definitive. 

That doesn't mean he's going to go in at lunch though.

"Did you really fail, Changbin?" the girl who sits in front of Changbin says. Her bangs are too long and fall into her eyes. Changbin doesn't know her name.

"Yeah, I did," he scowls. He's pissed now, that he didn't get the last word with his teacher and that he has to stay after class. For what? A talking to about doing homework and shit? Another detention to tack onto the endless list he already has?

"Well, if you wanted, I could, well, um, I could help you study," she says nervously. Changbin has to stop himself from laughing at her obvious blush. "I've got top marks in the class."

"Thanks but no. I don't need help from a teacher's pet," Changbin replies. Maybe it's a little too harsh, judging by the way she whips back around to face the board and hunches in on herself, but Changbin doesn't really have the mind to care.

Changbin spends the next ten minutes angrily flipping through his textbook and gritting his teeth trying not to curse and start shit with the numerous people he can feel whispering and glancing back at him. It's not in his nature to not have the last word, to not make teachers want to pull out their hair or kick him out of their class. Now, he's made a fool of himself, and it's spreading quickly.

 **from: squirrel boy**  
okay lol what happened in chem dude?  
 **sent at 10:21 AM**

 **from: squirrel boy**  
mr. kim deMOLISHED you  
 **sent at 10:21 AM**

 **from: squirrel boy**  
here's a link if you wanna watch  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_hqoN4qr4A  
 **sent at 10:22 AM**

**to: squirrel boy**  
fuck off jisung  
 **sent at 10:25 AM**

Changbin huffs out an angry sigh, looking at the clock. There's still twenty minutes of class left. He had plans to go out with Chan and Jisung and a couple others from Chan's year for lunch and he didn't want to miss it because Chan said he would pay. Changbin may be well off, but that doesn't mean he likes to spend money. Or, _his_ money to be exact.

He picks at his nails and glares at his phone until the bell is about to ring. He packs all his stuff up, and he really is about to leave, but—

Felix is standing at the front of the class talking to Mr. Kim, gripping his test in his hands so tightly it must be his only source of oxygen. His shoulders are tense and Changbin can tell by the apologetic look on Mr. Kim's face that Felix failed his test and he won't let him retake it. Felix's whole body slumps, and he turns around dejectedly, face red and eyes teary. He sits at his desk and drops his head into his hands, fisting his fingers in his hair.

Changbin bites his tongue, and narrows his eyes at Mr. Kim. It's one thing to fail _himself_ and not let him retake the test seeing as he kind of deserves it fro being a slacker and skipping and not trying, but it's a completely different story not letting _Felix_ , a foreigner who wrote the test a couple of days after he first started school, to not retake it.

Changbin wonders if he's making Felix stay after class. It wouldn't hurt to stay back and see, but only because he doesn't think that keeping Felix back is necessary and he wants to see what happens. He would do it for anybody. It just so happens that Felix is the one in this situation. Whatever.

The bell rings. Everyone files out. Changbin stays sitting in his chair at the back, leant back with his arms crossed against his chest. He runs his tongue against the bottom of his teeth, something he does when he's pissed off. He's pissed off. He had to text Chan to tell him not to wait for him, that he's staying after class. Chan sends back too many emojis and a taunt probably. Changbin doesn't know because he hasn't bothered to check his phone since.

Felix is sitting at the front, stick straight in his seat. His right leg is jiggling up, down, up, down, up, down. His shoelace is hitting the desk and it's making this annoying _ding_ sound that makes Changbin want to shove a fork in his eyes.

Mr. Kim has disappeared into the side room to "go grab something" and Changbin is tempted to leave while he still can.

Instead, he suffers through the continual _ding_ -ing before pushing up from his desk (a little too violently) and storming over to Felix. He grabs a chair from the desk right beside Felix's and drags it right next to him. Then he sits, grits his teeth because even though Felix is staring at him wide-eyed he _still hasn't stopped with the fucking leg thing_ , but Changbin holds his ground and tightens his grip.

"Could you quit that?" Changbin all but growls.

Felix nods and recedes into himself, and Mr. Kim walks back in the classroom, paper in hand. Changbin gazes curiously at it. Felix keeps his head down.

"So, as the both of you may or may not know, we're about halfway through the semester," Mr. Kim says and pauses, waiting for nods from both Felix and Changbin as reassurance that they're actually listening. "And both of you do _not_ have passing marks at the moment."

Changbin rolls his eyes, and it takes a second for it to click for Felix, but when it does he lets out a little 'oh' and his eyes widen in disbelief. 

"Changbin, there's really no excuse for your grade seeing as you've been here since the start, but because you came later, Felix, I am willing to give the two of you an option of an extra-credit assignment."

"No," Changbin says right away, gritting his teeth. "I'd rather fail than do some dumbass project."

"Language," Mr. Kim warns. "And this isn't a choice. I don't want to see you again next year, and I'm sure you don't want to see me either, Changbin. So, both of you are going to pick one of the options on this list and do a project _as partners_."

Felix looks horror-struck, and for once, so does Changbin.

"You can't make us! You can't— he doesn't even know Korean," Changbin argues.

"Well then you'll have to help him out. There's no getting out of this. Pick a topic and confirm it with me afterwards, and then you're free to go."

Felix takes the paper from Mr. Kim as Changbin slams his head down onto the desk.

"This is bullshit," he whines. What did he do to deserve this? Who decided, _oh, look, we should torture Changbin because he's a normal kid who doesn't like going to class and doesn't care about his grades_? And, okay, maybe that isn't what normal kids are like persay, but that doesn't mean he's completely bad. He doesn't send dick pics to unsuspecting girls (which is kind of because he's completely and utterly gay but whatever), he's never done any 'hard' drugs, he even goes to church (almost) every Sunday.

What more does the universe want from him?

Changbin watches sullenly as Felix looks the entire list over once, then again, then again, and then again. Then, he turns to Changbin and says, "Hyung... I don't really understand any of this."

For a second, Changbin thinks he's legitimately stupid and is actually failing the class because he sucks at chemistry, but then he realizes Felix means he can't read the Korean.

"Oh, well... The first one says 'Determination of the Thickness of Zinc on a piece of Galvanized Metal'," Changbin reads. He looks up at Felix who is the epitome of confusion, and sighs.

He puts it through Google Translate and Felix listens, shrugs and points to the next one. And so, there goes Changbin, typing in long scientific names that he barely understands so Felix can barely understand them in English until they find one they both semi-understand.

"Molecular bonding is pretty important, right?" Changbin asks. It's halfway through lunch at this point and they both are dying to leave.

"I think so," Felix replies, in that dangerously deep voice of his. "I mean, it sounds familiar."

"So, this one then?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Pause. Changbin again. "Do you want to go tell Mr. Kim or...?"

"Oh. Yeah, I'll go do that."

As soon as Felix gets up to walk over to Mr. Kim's desk, Changbin grabs his bag and bolts. A glance at his phone confirms that Chan did still get him food, and that if Changbin runs fast enough, he can eat it before third.

Changbin runs fast enough.

 

 

 

"Mr. Kim?" Felix says quietly. 'Me and Changbin-hyung picked a project."

"Oh? Quicker than I thought," Mr. Kim laughs and Felix smiles back awkwardly. He isn't really missing anything right now— his lunch is the same as always and it's not like he'd be doing anything other than sitting in the cafeteria — but he doesn't want to be here. He literally just found out he was failing and that he has to do the project with the kid who acted nice to him once and now seemingly hates him.

Oh, and he's not the greatest at Korean, which just so happens to be the country's national fucking language. So, there's that.

"Physical Properties and Intermolecular Bonding in Solids?"

"Yeah," Felix replies, even though he's not entirely sure that's the right one. (Again: he can't read/speak/write/understand Korean all that well and it's coming back to bite him in the ass.) 

Felix stands beside Mr. Kim's desk as he enters it into the computer, twisting his hands and rocking on his feet.

"Did Changbin run off already?" Mr. Kim says to break the uncomfortable (at least to Felix) silence. Felix nods yes and stares up at the ceiling. "Alright, well, I guess you're free to go then, Felix."

"Thank you, Mr. Kim," Felix says and bows and then turns and practically sprints out of the class and down to the cafeteria. Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jeongin are already there.

"Due, what took you so long?" Seungmin says through a mouthful of rice. "It's like— halfway through lunch already?"

Felix throws himself down on the bench, tossing his bag aside and slams his head down on the table, groaning.

"I hate my life," he says in English. There will definitely be a mark on his forehead later.

Though he can't see them, he knows for a fact that all three of the other boys are looking at him like they've just seen a UFO.

"Is he okay?" Jeongin whispers. 

"I don't know," Hyunjin replies.

A finger reaches out and jabs Felix in the head. He lets it happen twice more before he slowly lifts his face off the table.

"My life is over. It's come to an end. It was a nice fifteen years. I lived well—"

"Are you okay?" Hyunjin questions him with wide eyes.

"No! I'm failing chemistry!" Felix shouts, then shrinks back into himself and slams his head back on the table.

Ouch.

"Why me? What did I do wrong?" Felix moans, and then Seungmin is yanking him up off the table by his shirt collar.

"We're only two months into the semester, calm down. Who's your teacher?" he asks gently. Felix whips his head to look at Seungmin so fast he almost gets whiplash.

"Okay, sure, but I'm at a disadvantage! I came two months late! I started two whole months after everyone else! How is that fair!"

"No one told you to come two months late, Felix," Hyunjin adds, casually spooning soup into his mouth. Felix's mouth falls open in shock.

"I hate all of you. Why am I friends with you again?"

"Because you are, now shut the fuck up and answer my question," Seungmin asks. Jeongin is sitting at the other end of the table, eyes darting back and forth as if Felix's dilemma is a hit comedy show.

"Mr. Kim. But the part that I'm failing isn't even the worst part! He's making me do an extra-credit project!"

Silence. Confused looks. "How is that a bad thing, hyung?"

"Because I have to do it with Changbin!"

"Again... how is that a bad thing? Don't you like Changbin?"

"Yes! No, I don't know," Felix says exasperatedly. "He doesn't like me though."

And then the bell rings.

 

 

 

Changbin is shoving samgyeopsal in his mouth in the fleeting moments before lunch ends. Chan is watching him with this bemused look on his face and Jisung is watching the video of Changbin from science _again_. Most everyone who had been there before has left already, in favor of going to class or somewhere more fun than watching Changbin devour his food.

"Hyung, hyung, how did this even happen? Wait, wait this is the best part—" cue Jisung laughing like a maniac (bending in half and gasping for air and clutching at the table to keep his balance) for the fourth time since Changbin had joined them.

"Shut the fuck up, it's not even that funny," Changbin growls, a frown on his face.

"It kind of is," Chan smirks, arms crossed against his chest.

"How could you say that?" Changbin says, betrayed. "You're supposed to be my ally. You're supposed to have my back. Hyung! You just tossed our friendship aside like it meant nothing to you."

"Oh, stop, and tell me what happened at lunch, Binnie."

"Fine," Changbin says, and finishes off the last of the meat on the plate. Jisung straightens up and pulls out his headphones. Both him and Chan know that Changbin will over exaggerate the story, just like always.

"Okay, so first of all, I failed my test. Which is normal, but still! A shitty way to start off the class."

"Was that not the test that you skipped the lab for and then told your mom you didn't need to study for so you could come play Overwatch with me?" Jisung asks.

Changbin scowls, "Maybe. Now shut up and listen, brat. So, yeah, I get the test and then Mr. Kim is like, 'Changbin you have to stay after class because I hate you' and I was like, 'Fuck that, no way' and so then, y'know, the whole video thing, right. And I really wasn't gonna stay after class because why would I? But then he asked Felix to stay back—"

"Felix as in the Felix you're in love with?"

"I'm not in love with him, I was drunk!" Changbin huffs unconvincingly. Jisung and Chan share a knowing look. "Anyways, I stayed behind then because I thought it was kind of unfair to make the kid stay back, like, he didn't _do_ anything. And then Mr. Kim was fucking— he's making us do some stupid extra-credit project _together_!"

"No way!" Jisung says.

Changbin misinterprets it and answers, "I know! It's pathetic, why can't I just do it alone, or like not do it at all?"

"No, hyung, this is like— like fate! You met him at that party and you fell in love and now the universe is match-making you, or some shit."

"Watch your mouth, kid," Chan says. Then to Changbin, "He's got a fair point."

"You really think— you're kidding me. You think Mr. Kim paired us together because of fate?" Changbin says dumbstruck. He knew that Jisung was still a kid and kind of on the wack side o things, but Chan too?

"The universe works in weird ways," Jisung says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Changbin rolls his eyes, "I hate you."

"No, you love me, hyung!"

"Yeah, whatever," Changbin replies. "But back to the matter at hand! Felix's Korean is shit and now we have to do a chem project together? I don't even know half the words and I was born here!"

"Oh, calm down," Chan says, and pushes up from his chair. "Class started ten minutes ago. Let's go. You need the English practice anyways."

"Hyung! My English is great!" Changbin defends. (Not really: he can say, 'I'm fine thank you, and you?' and not much else.)

"Well then maybe you should do your project with Felix in English, since you're so good," Chan shoots back and Changbin (finally) shuts his mouth, not even bothering to fight back as Jisung practically barrel rolls him.

"Fuck my life," Changbin thinks, says out loud.

Fuck his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!  
> please comment and leave kudos bc i'm desperate for validation and love


	5. AKA changbin is a little bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changbin is not happy with this extra credit project and he's not hiding it either
> 
> (also felix + supportive maknae line - jisungie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay oof  
> it's almost been two months since i've updated and i aM SORRY  
> i'm not trying to make excuses bUT, i've been working 20+ hours a week lately and am pure exhaustion by the time i get home, that there's really nothing left in me to write. and when i am free, i try to spend time with my friends and family before school starts again.
> 
> so to all the people who are reading this book despite my trashy updating schedule and lies every author's note, i really fucking love y'all 
> 
> (also some of the coding or whatever got a little messed up and idk how to fix it so sorry in advance)

Felix's idea of the extra-credit science project is... a little bit different then Changbin's. 

For example, even though Felix doesn't want to do it, he's still going to put in his best effort so he can pass the class. But Changbin is having none of that. Instead, Changbin refuses to work on the project and is resorting to being a complete douche to both Felix and Mr. Kim.

Mostly Mr. Kim. But, sometimes Felix.

Like, now, Mr. Kim is coming around to collect homework. He does this everyday; goes from desk to desk with his clipboard and red pen and puts a check or an x. In the row beside Changbin's name, there is consecutive x's.

"Changbin, do you have your homework for me?" he asks, already knowing the answer.

"What do you think, Mr. Kim?" Changbin taunts. His desk is completely bare and his bag nowhere to be seen.

And if that's not bad enough, his uniform is disheveled and his tie is missing and those pants he's wearing are _definitely_ from the mall. 

"I think that you're on your way to a failing grade in this class, Changbin," Mr. Kim says brusquely, and moves onto the next desk.

Changbin rolls his eyes and slouches a little more in his desk, obviously pissed off. As Mr. Kim walks away, Changbin flips the bird at his back. Felix watches him with wary eyes and turns around too quickly when he's caught.

When Mr. Kim is done collecting homework, he splits them all into pairs for a written assignment. Guess who Felix is put with?

"I'm not helping, just so you know, Pretty Boy," Changbin scowls. "You can do it yourself." Felix nods and— why does Changbin still call him Pretty Boy? It's confusing really, because Felix is all too sure Changbin hates him.

So Felix does the assignment himself and when he's done Changbin literally takes the pencil right out of his hand and copies it down onto his page, pointing out every single mistake Felix had made.

By the end of class, Felix's cheeks are burning with embarrassment at Changbin's ruthless criticism, and he has one less pencil.

 

 

The next day, things aren't much better.

It's not even in chemistry class, it's in the hallways, before school even starts. Changbin and Felix pass by each other and Felix doesn't even do anything but Changbin purposefully (definitely purposefully, because he looked back at Felix's shocked face afterwards with this dumb smirk, like he was happy about being a douche) shoves his shoulder into Felix's, knocking the younger into the lockers.

Felix scowls, pulls his bag up and rubs at the ache on his shoulder.

_Fuck you, Seo Changbin. Fuck you_.

 

 

There's a specific way that Changbin does this— this as in being an asshole— Felix realizes soon enough. He'll sit back in his chair, relaxed with his arms folded across his chest and his feet crossed at the ankles. He'll spit out one of his dumbass (in Felix's opinion) comments, but add the honorifics at the end. Mr. Kim. Ssi. Hyung. Sunbae. It's mocking and rude that way— more rude than if he didn't use the honorifics at all.

And if he's not in class, in the hallways he'll walk around like he owns the fucking place, even though he's like, 5'4", and not even a senior. People treat him like one, treat like a king, and it makes Felix mad. Changbin knows how to play the system; how to look at you just cruelly enough that you'll be scared but look up to him at the same time, how to wear the uniform so he's not technically breaking the rules but he's definitely not following them either, how to make the teachers hate him but not enough that they give a shit.

It frustrates Felix to no end that Changbin is like this and no one cares. No one does anything about it. How does that make any sense?

It doesn't— and neither does this extra credit project.

Felix has been spending time before school and during lunch in the library working on the project. He hasn't gotten very far in yet; mostly he's researching online about the subject, translating it from Korean to English, trying to understand and retain the information, and then translating it back to Korean. He's hoping that it'll help him learn the language quicker, but at this rate it seems like nothing's helping.

Speaking is a thousand times easier than reading or writing, but that's not how this project works. So, back to a computer screen swimming with physical properties and substances and chemical formulas and intermolecular bonding.

It's lunch right now, which means he ate his leftover Chinese food in two minutes in front of his locker (instead of the caf with Seungmin and Hyunjin and Jeongin), and went straight to the library to claim one of the cubicles. Then he pulls out his laptop and opens up like thirty tabs and prays that maybe today he won't have to translate as much today. (He has to translate as much every time anyways, so it's no use). 

Felix has never been good at chemistry. He's an average student through and through, never excelling with top marks, but never on the other side of the equation, barely passing or even failing.

Things are different in Korea.

Felix is failing chemistry and probably not doing well in any of his other classes otherwise. But what else could happen when you start at a new school a couple weeks into the semester with no prior knowledge of the language other than hello?

Felix has, in simpler terms, completely fucked himself over. 

And you know what? So has Mr. Kim. And so has Changbin.

He clenches his eyes shut tight for a second, gritting his teeth and pushing his hands through his hair in distress. Usually he'd be upset, holding back tears at this point, because he's only a human and the build up of stress and anxiety and frustration and Changbin is enough to make anybody cry. But instead— instead he's just boiling with anger.

"Yo, Felix, you look like you're about to punch someone in the face," Seungmin says, leaning over Felix to eye at his laptop screen. Hyunjin and Jeongin trail in behind him.

"I am," Felix says, huffing out a breath. Seungmin laughs.

"The fuck is all this?" Hyunjin asks, eyebrows furrowing. He slings an arm over Seungmin.

"My extra credit project for chem," Felix answers. He pushes the chair back and turns to look at the three. "Do any of you know anything about intermolecular bonding?"

Jeongin shakes his head rapidly. "Sorry, hyung. That sounds scary."

"Isn't this supposed to be a partnered project? Y'know, the one you're doing with Changbin-ssi," Hyunjin says, pulling up a chair from another table. The others follow suit, forming a semi-circle of chairs around Felix's cubicle.

"Why don't you try telling him that? I'll probably end up doing this entire thing by myself. i doubt he's even looked at the outline yet."

"You shouldn't stress yourself out too much, Felix," Seungmin says, reaching a hand out to rest on Felix's shoulder. "This is a performing arts school. No one's gonna give a shit about your chem marks."

"My mom will," Felix groans, but he feels relieved nonetheless. 

"Turn this shit off and let's go out," Hyunjin says. "There's still half hour of lunch left, and the boba place is right down the street."

Felix, in his rage of anger and hatred towards Changbin, agrees. He shoves the laptop into his backpack and stands up. 

Seungmin grins, and pulls out his wallet. "I haven't had boba in a while, Hyunjinnie this is a good idea!"

They're out of the school and halfway to get boba, Jeongin singing in trot to amuse his hyungs, when Felix stops and says, "What is boba?"

Seungmin stops in his tracks, the smile falling off his face. "You don't know what boba is? How do you not know what boba is? I don't know _what_ kind of place Australia is, but I never want to go there if they don't have boba!"

Later they discover that Felix does indeed know what boba is, and that Australia definitely does have it. Seungmin says he will consider visiting Australia in the future, but nothing is definite.

 

 

 

Changbin knows that most people don't like him. He knows that most people (including Felix) probably thinks he's a spoiled rich brat and an absolute asshole.

They're not entirely wrong.

It's not unknown news that Changbin is well off. Most of SOPA's students and staff know Changbin's scoial status. How could they not? His mother is an avid PTA member and his family makes donations to the school every year.

This is also consequently the reason why Changbin never gets any calls home about skipping class or bad grades or detentions. But that's beside the point.

Changbin knows most people don't like him. And he's fine with that.

But he wouldn't go as far to say that he's okay with the nasty stares he gets, the rumors that go around behind his back, the rumors that go around right in front of his face, being targeted by the general student community for things he hasn't even been involved with.

He wouldn't go as far to say that the fact that only two people talk to him makes him a little depressed, that only two people of the entire school population care enough to be his friends.

He wouldn't go as far to say that— even though he's been a douche to Felix lately— seeing Felix walk out of the school and meet up with Minjae doesn't make him piss angry.

Because it does. it really, really does. What does this Minjae kid deserve that Changbin doesn't? Changbin's not a bad person. He's done some bad things, but that doesn't make him a bad person.

Seeing Felix with Minjae makes him want to do things that would make him a bad person.

The worst part is that he can't understand why he's so jealous of Minjae and why he feels such a strong attraction to Felix. Why does he get a little pang of quilt in his chest every time he shoves Felix in the hallways? Why does he think Felix is pretty? Changbin doesn't like guys like Felix.

(Guys with natural dyed hair and big eyes and freckles and charming smiles and pants that don't fit all that right and stupid Australian accents.)

Changbin scowls at Minjae and Felix as they walk towards Minjae's car. Of course he can drive.

School is out and usually Changbin would be going to their spot or out to eat or some club or something but no, Chan has some gudiance appointment cause he's graduating this year and Jisung stayed home sick and Changbin has to wait for his mother to come pick him up from school.

And of course, she's late.

"Changbin, sweetie, I'm on my way," Changbin's mom says over the phone. Her phone is connected to her new car through Bluetooth and she calls him when she's driving all the time now, just because she can. "Just give me like, five minutes. I'm picking your sister up from her afternoon classes too and then we have to stop by the mall so I can pick up some stuff for your cousin's baby shower, alright?"

"Can't you just drop me off at home?" Changbin scowls. Shopping with his mom for one thing turns into shopping with his mom for a hundred things. "I've got stuff I need to do." A lie, but still.

"No, y'know what, Changbinnie? I feel like I never even see you anymore, you're always out with your friends going to— to parties and stuff. We need to have some mother-son bonding time."

"What about Subin?"

"Mother-son-daughter bonding time, then."

"Mom—"

"You're not getting out of this, Changbin. I'm two minutes away. Love you," she chimes. Changbin wonders how she can sound so happy when she's being so strict.

"Love you too, Mom," he grumbles.

"Bye!" And then she hangs up. Two minutes later, she pulls up by the side of the road.

Changbin grabs his bag and drags his feet all the way down the stairs and acroos the sidewalk to the car. His sister is, of course, sitting in the front seat, so he takes the bacl,slouching down even more in his seat.

"Put on your seatbelt, Changbin," Changbin's mom warns. As soon as it clicks into place, she starts the car.

Her and Subin talk about the neighbors or something like that. Changbin puts in his headphones and opens up his Kakao with Jisung.

**to squirrel boy** my mom's making me go shopping with her and subin **sent at 2:38 PM**

**to squirrel boy** save me **sent at 2:38 PM**

**from: squirrel boy**  
i'm in the middle of something  
 **sent at 2:39 PM**

**to squirrel boy** what jerking off **sent at 2:39 PM**

**from: squirrel boy**  
nO  
 **sent at 2:41 PM**

**from: squirrel boy**  
i'm watching knowing bros and eating cheesecake  
 **sent at 2:42 PM**

**to squirrel boy** knowing bros? again?? **sent at 2:42 PM**

**from: squirrel boy**  
itS GOOD  
 **sent at 2:43 PM**

"Changbin, put that phone away," Changbin's mom says as she pulls into a parking spot at the mall.

**to squirrel boy** whatever g2g **sent at 2:43 PM**

Changbin slips his phone in hos pocket without waiting to see Jisung's response and gets out of the car, slamming the door a little too hard. He really doesn't want to be here.

"You used to love coming to the mall with me, Binnie," his mom coos, pulling Changbin into her side. He's only a few centimeters taller than her. "You used to jump at the chance to come shopping. What happened?"

"Yeah, what happened, Binnie?" Subin teases, reaching over to grab at Changbin's cheek. He swats her hand away angrily.

"I grew up?" he says, angrily, pulling away from his mom. He misses the disappointed look she gives him. He always seems to miss the disappointed looks she gives him.

"Cut that out, you two," Changbin's mom says. "This is supposed to be mother-daughter-son bonding time, not mother-daughter-son _arguing_ time."

Subin and Changbin stay quiet.

 

 

"What are we here for again?" Changbin asks as they walk through the (surprisingly) (unfortunately) busy mall. 

"I told you before, don't you listen, Changbin?" his mother scolds as she stops to reef through a rack of button up shirts outside one of the stores. "It's Hasoo's baby shower next weekend and we need to get her a gift."

"Her or the baby?" 

Changbin's mother smacks him, even though it was a genuine question. That's what he gets for being sarcastic all the time, he supposes.

"Of course the baby, Binnie, it's a baby shower, but it wouldn't hurt to get her something too, I guess," she continues and fuck. Now they're gonna be here for even longer all because Changbin had to open his mouth. 

Subin and his mother walk together, talking about God knows what while Changbin drags along behind them, wishing he had his headphones. He doesn't. The universe hates him.

They stop in front of yet another store which doesn't even have anything baby related and— why can't they just go inside? Why do they have to linger outside the store like fucking weirdos and let every single person that passes by them stare at them thinking, _wow, those people are fucking weirdos_.

Case in point, an elderly couple walks by and stares down Changbin, who stares right back at them under the brim of his hat. He knows he shouldn't, knows his mom taught him to be respectful but why would he be respectful to people who don't deserve it?

"Changbinnie, would you hold these for me?" his mother asks, and then without waiting for a response she dumps an armful of blouses on Changbin.

"Me too, Changbinnie," Subin smirks, and there's another four shirts, all too tight and too feminine. He's drowning in lacy sleeves and bright pinks.

Someone, anyone, please save him.

And maybe it's because he's been a bit of a douche lately, or maybe it's because the universe actually does hate him, but out of the corner of his eye Changbin spots the person he least wants to see.

And that person— or two people, persay, are walking right towards Changbin.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck," Changbin curse under his breath, internally panicking.

Of course, Felix and Minjae just had to come to the mall today of all days in the week. Of course, Felix and Minjae just had to walk down this particular part of the mall, out of all the other places they could've gone. And now they're like, less then a minute away from Changbin and he's panicking.

" _Mom_ ," Changbin says, and his voice is a lot more worried than it should be. "Mom, are you guys almost done?"

(He wonders why that is. Why is his voice so worried and anxious? It's just Felix. He doesn't have any direct feelings towards Felix, other than the fact that he's okay-looking. The only feeling he has towards Minjae is complete and utter anger, so why isn't he feeling that? Later, when he's lying in bed and contemplating his entire existence, he'll realize that it's because under his hard exterior and the walls he puts up and the persona he plays, he's just like everybody else— scared of what people really think of him. But in the meantime, he's just confused. And looking for a place to hide.)

"Stop being so impatient," Changbin's mother chides. Her and Subin have started to move inside the store, but not. Fast. Enough.

"It's just— I just can't wait to find a g-gift for Hasoo's baby," he chokes out and it's possibly the worst excuse in the history of ever. Why in the fuck did he say that? That's not even semi-realistic.

"I'm not an idiot, Changbinnie," his mother says. "I know you probably just wanna go home and sit in your room and play Fortknife or whatever it is you always do and listen to your rap music and waste your life away, but you can't even just stand here for five minutes—"

The blush spreading all over Changbin's face is embarrassingly red and he really just wants to shrivel up and die at this point. His eyes dart anywhere but his mom, Subin, the store and land on

Felix.

He makes eye contact with Felix.

"Jesus, fuck, just give me a gun already," he says, accidentally, out loud, and his mom, accidentally, of course, hears and she is not happy.

"Seo Changbin!" she shrieks. "Do you want me to wash your mouth out with soap?!"

Changbin's eyes widen and dart back to his mom, and by the time she's simmered down enough that he can glance away without fear of being smacked, Felix is long gone.


	6. make him work for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changlix project get together today !!!  
> both boys come to a lil realization ⚆ᗝ⚆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm finally backKkKkKK !!!!!!!!!!!  
> i've been working hardcore on this pls enjoy
> 
> (unedited just like always)

Changbin lives in a mansion.

Okay, maybe not a _mansion_ , but still, it's a bigger-than-normal house. Much bigger than Felix's by that matter. There's more than three floors and too many doorways everywhere Felix looks. It would be an easy feat to become lost, which is why Felix is making the consecutive decision to not. 

How he will keep that decision, he doesn't yet know. So far, his only game plan is to stay with Changbin for the entire duration of their get together (if one could even call it that), which consequently means no bathroom breaks or any other breaks for that matter.

Usually the no bathroom break thing wouldn't be a problem, but Felix is so nervous that he actually might piss his pants.

Imagine being in the huge ass house of your literal-sworn-enemy-but-also-person-who-called-you-pretty-boy-upon-first-meeting, in a country who's language you can't speak, working on a project in a subject that you're miserably failing.

Yeah, that's how Felix's life is going so far. Fan-fucking-tastic.

 

 

Changbin answers the door almost seconds after Felix knocks. Felix seems a little shocked, like he thought Changbin wouldn't answer at all. He gestures for Felix to enter, stepping back and opening the door wider.

"Should I take off my shoes?" Felix asks in a shaky voice. His eyes are flitting around the house, all wide and cute.

Changbin shrugs. He doesn't really care, but his mom might. "Go ahead. You can just leave them there."

He turns and starts walking towards the stairs, eager to get this whole thing over with. The faster they get to work, the faster they're done. He hears a choked sound from Felix, and turns around to watch him toe off his shoes and hurry after Changbin, stumbling over himself. Changbin hides a smile and huffs out a, "My room's this way."

Changbin's house isn't that big, to him at least. He's been in bigger definitely, and really, it's not that hard to navigate. There's lots of doors, sure, but most of them are pantry closets or something stupid. But either way, he walks a little on the slow side, so Felix can have time to familiarize himself with the house.

Changbin is about to open the door to his room when he freezes. He's never been one to give a shit about other people's opinions but he _can't remember if his room is clean or not_. His mom tidies it for him usually, and it's never generally too messy because he doesn't typically spend a lot of time in his room, but his memory is totally failing him.

For some reason — some completely weird, not-normal-Changbin-reason — Changbin wants to impress Felix and having a messy room will definitely not help with that.

"Is... everything okay?" Felix asks awkwardly behind him.

"Oh, um, yeah," Changbin says, snapping back to reality. He takes a quiet breath and opens the door and

Thank god for his mother.

His bed is made, and all the clothes that he distinctly remembers being on his floor are gone, presumably in his closet who's doors are shut. And his desk is free of all the music equipment that normally litters it, his backpack sitting on the chair.

Changbin sighs out of relief, and steps forward, letting Felix enter. 

"Uh, I guess we can sit on my bed," Changbin tells Felix, who sets his bag down and stands in the doorway, eyeing Changbin's bed nervously. That makes Changbin roll his eyes.

"I don't have any diseases, seriously sit the fuck down."

"I didn't—" Felix starts, but Changbin is already turning away to grab his own bag. Felix sits on the end of the bed, tucking his feet under his leg and reaches into his own bag to grab his chemistry binder.

"I don't want to do this project and I know you don't either, so let's just get as much of it done today as we can so we don't have to spend years working on it, alright?" Changbin threatens.

Well, at least tries. Usually when he uses that voice, people draw back a little, avert their eyes. Felix smiles, laughs a little, and says, "Okay, hyung."

Hyung? Changbin bristles. When did he tell Felix he could call him hyung?

Whatever. Felix, for once, doesn't seem to be A) seconds away from pissing his pants from fear, or B) seconds away from punching Changbin out of anger, so it's probably best to let it go and _not_ start an unnecessary argument. 

"Anyways," Changbin grumbles, reaching for his pencil. "This is like— a lab report, right?"

"I think so?" Felix answers, confusion swimming in his eyes. He offers a small smile that has Changbin fighting back a blush.

"Okay, well, lab reports usually have a hypothesis, so let's start with that," Changbin concludes, starting to write his if statement on a piece of paper. 

Then he realizes he doesn't really know what he's writing a hypothesis about, or even for that matter, what their project is about.

"Um," he starts, and Felix looks up from his own paper.

"Yeah?" 

(Changbin notices that Felix's writing is unreasonably nice for a beginner, but he supposes you try extra hard when you're writing in a completely different language than your own.)

"What... _is_ our hypothesis about?"

Felix, with what Changbin would definitely name a twinge of annoyance, pulls out his laptop and and opens up a doc with _a lot_ of information on it. 

"The first couple paragraphs are kinda like an introduction, and then the second page is the question and hypothesis and everything we need to do for the experiment," Felix explains as Changbin scrolls through the doc.

Changbin gulps and picks up his pencil again. "I didn't realize you'd already done so much work," he says guiltily.

Felix frowns a little. "Yeah. But, it's whatever," he says, brushing it off. "Like you said, let's just get this done."

"Okay," Changbin admonishes, and begins to copy down what Felix has done already.

Basically, the project is about identifying the relationship between properties of solids and their intermolecular bond types. Felix has a couple different hypotheses written out. One mentions ionic bonds and low vapor pressure, and another mentions nonpolar molecular bonds and high melting points.

Once Changbin has everything written out, he sits back and squints at the laptop again. There's a chart beneath the hypotheses with chemical names and where to find them, and then a too-intelligently-written seven step procedure.

"Did you come up with this shit?" he asks Felix, almost a little impressed until Felix answers.

"Uh... no," he says, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. "I found a website that did the project already and copy and pasted everything."

"Isn't that like, plagiarism?"

"Well... not if we're the ones to actually _do_ the project, right? I mean, no one has to know we stole it from a website."

"I like the way you think, kid," Changbin smiles. (Smiles. Changbin smiled at Felix, this pretty boy golden child kid who he definitely doesn't want anything to do with. So, why again is he being nice? When was the last time he was voluntarily nice to someone other than Chan and Jisung and, occasionally, his parents? This is weird. This is very not good. This is—)

Felix smiles and Changbin blanks. It's not that he hasn't seen Felix smile before, or maybe he hasn't even, but frankly, that's not the problem. The problem is that this is a real smile and Felix looks really pretty.

Of course, Changbin chooses _now_ to be a gay mess. 

Felix's teeth are white and straight and his eyes curve into almost-crescent-moons with happy swells underneath and his hair is a strange mix between messy and perfect. And he always wears this cross earring in his left ear, that's somehow attractive to Changbin. 

Fortunately, Changbin manages to gather his thoughts and clear his throat before the silence becomes too awkward.

"So, what do we gotta do to get this done?" 

"Well, we can't do the actual experiment without supplies, so I figured we could do it during lunch at school one time. But, Mr. Kim wants us to present it to him on like, a poster board? One of the ones with three sections."

"Oh, like a tri-fold," Changbin suggests and Felix nods.

"Yeah, one of those. He said he's gonna mark us on presentation so it's gotta look good," Felix warns. Changbin feels a little threatened. He's never been particularly good at presentation.

Felix seems to catch on to Changbin's nerves. "Don't worry, hyung," he boasts. "I'm pretty good at making things look good. I mean, at least that's what my mom says."

Changbin laughs (kinda) (he won't admit it), and says," Okay, well, let's worry about that later. For now, tell me what I need to type."

 

 

 

"Chan," Changbin says, walking into Chan's room unannounced. "There's a slight issue."

"Dude!" Chan says, jerking up from where he was working (sleeping— or at least Changbin hopes so, because Chan never gets any fucking sleep) at his desk. "What the fuck, I could've been like— jacking off or something!"

"Yeah, but you weren't," Changbin says, sitting on Chan's bed. "And since when do you have time to jack off? Don't you spend all your time working?"

"Fuck off," Chan replies, but he shuts his laptop and swivels the desk chair around to face Changbin. "At least I have a job and show responsibility. Also, it's hyung to you, brat."

Changbin laughs and flops down, staring up at the ceiling.

"What's up?" Chan asks gently.

"So, well, y'know Felix?" he starts. He's too nervous to look anywhere else than the ceiling, his eyes following the patterns the molding makes.

"Oh, that tenth grader you like?" Chan asks. He's come to lay next to Changbin, and even though Changbin would never admit it, he appreciates the act greatly.

"No!" Changbin protests immediately, lifting his head up to glare at Chan. Almost instantly after though, he drops back down and sighs. "Well, actually... yeah."

"Wait, really?" Chan says, shooting up comically. He leans over Changbin, eyes wide. "You, Seo Changbin, notorious bad boy, are admitting to _liking_ a boy, t-to having a _crush_! Right in front of my very own eyes? Is this really happening right now? Where's my calendar, holy shit."

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll leave," Changbin warns. They both know he's not being serious, but Chan drops the act and snuggles up to Changbin.

"And what, do tell, happened that made you come to this conclusion?"

"Okay, well first off, it's not really a conclusion of any sorts, and it's definitely not a crush, at least I don't think so. Second, he came over to my house this afternoon. Y'know for that chem thing we have to do. And I kinda just realized that he's like... _really_ good looking." 

Changbin can feel his cheeks turning red and he rolls over, face-planting into the bed. "What do I do, hyung?" he groans.

"Normally, when people like other people they ask them out," Chan says sarcastically.

"Well, I'm not normal. Also I don't date people," Changbin replies, voice muffled.

"Then why are you telling me all this if you're not gonna do anything about it?"

Pause. Sigh. Bed sheets rustling as Changbin rolls back over again. Another pause.

"Because I wanna do something about it," he admits in a quiet voice. 

 

 

 

Felix is in a good mood the morning after he went to Changbin's to work on their project. Changbin had been acting genuinely nice, like a completely different person than normal, and it gave Felix a little bit of hope that things will be different at school, and different in chem class, and different in the halls. He won't have to do all the work for this stupid project by himself anymore.

And then he gets to school and sees Changbin in the halls and smiles and waves and Changbin just looks at him and keeps walking.

And then he gets to chem class and Changbin sits at the back, which is okay because that's his assigned seat, but he doesn't even make any inclination to say anything to Felix, which is weird because aren't friends supposed to do that?

Like, he could've at least said hi or something. And they finished the lesson early so they had free time, and Felix thought that maybe they could work on their project, but Changbin didn't even move. He didn't even move, he didn't even look up at Felix.

So, Felix sits grumpily in his chair, head resting on his hand as he angrily works on his math homework from first period. He has a test coming up soon so it's best he starts studying soon. He technically should've already started studying, but he keeps putting it off and putting it off. Most likely he'll do it all the night before the test and then drown in his stress and get less sleep then he already does. 

Probably not a good plan, but it's better than anything else he has, so it'll have to do.

Felix keeps glancing up at the clock, behind his shoulder at Changbin, back to his math textbook. It's a repetitive circle. There's still too much of class left. He twists his pencil anxiously in his hands and gets so lost in his thoughts he doesn't hear Mr. Kim approach him.

"So, how's the project going?" he asks in this voice that makes Felix sour immediately. H hates when teachers assume every little thing about their students. Just because he doesn't have the greatest marks, doesn't mean he's some horrible person.

"Um, good. Yeah, it's going well," Felix replies. Every time he has to take to adults in Korean his heart beats three thousand times faster than it should. He's scared of screwing up and being humiliated— and Mr. Kim seems like just the person who would do that.

"Are you sure about that?" 

"Yes," Felix frowns, looking down at his paper. "It'll be done on time, sir."

"It better be," Mr. Kim says threateningly and Felix stares holes into the stupid knit sweater his teacher is wearing as soon as he turns around to go back to his desk.

That whole encounter makes Felix so mad, so mad that his disappointment towards Changbin for ignoring him turns to just— complete anger. Felix isn't an angry person, or at least he doesn't think so.

But now.

Now he is. Right now in this very moment he wants to walk up to Mr. Kim and punch him in the face and then he wants to walk up to Changbin and punch him in the face and then he wants to go kick some lockers or something. And probably rage-cry, even though he doesn't really like crying. (Kids at home you used to tease him for being a crybaby and now he bottles everything up).

Luckily, before he can act on those desires the bell rings and everyone files out of class, including Changbin who doesn't even give a second glance to Felix.

Felix curls up his fist, takes a breath, picks up his bag and leaves. He meets Seungmin and Hyunjin and Jeongin in the cafeteria and slams his bag down on the ground.

"Jesus Christ, Lix," Seungmin says, Hyunjin and Jeongin both looking shocked and a little scared. Seungmin nudges Hyunjin who nudges Jeongin who shuts his gaping mouth before Felix can notice. Both their eyes stay equally widened.

"Sorry," Felix grumbles, because he is, to them at least. "Just... today's not very good. I kind of really don't want to be here right now."

"Did you want to talk about it?" Seungmin offers, flicking red hair out of his eyes. 

Felix stays silent for a second. Nobody's ever offered that before. Then again, he didn't really have many friends in Australia for that matter, and the ones he did were probably going through just as much shit as he was. Also, what ninth grader knows how to comfort people? Not many that's for sure.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, actually, can I?" he decides. Hyunjin takes a nervous bite of his lunch, and Jeongin keeps his eyes glued to his phone. 

"Go ahead, man," Seungmin says, and Felix has never been more glad to have met him.

"Okay, so, fucking Changbin. _Fucking. Changbin_. I am— I can't even formulate words to like, explain this kid!" Felix starts. It's a lot. It's already a lot and he can't keep any feelings down anymore. "First we meet and he calls me Pretty Boy, and I'm, of course, interested because that's never happened before! Of course, that's never happened before so why would I not be interested?"

Seungmin nods. Hyunjin and Jeongin mirror his movements. Felix barely notices.

"And then I start school and he's a douche! He's literally the biggest douche I've ever met and I've met quite a few. And now we're partnered on this _stupid_ chem project that _I've_ done all the work so far, and he's just been his usual slacker ass self."

"Yeah, from what I've heard he's not the greatest person, but you never know if it's rumors or not until you actually get to know the person," Seungmin adds.

Felix nods vigorously. "Exactly! See, when I went to his house—"

("You went to his house?" Jeongin chokes out. Then whispers to Hyunjin, "Hyung, he went to his house!")

"—He was completely nice, look a cool guy and everything. Literally the _exact_ opposite that he is at school. He even actually did work and wrote stuff down. And he let me call him hyung, which I totally thought he was gonna yell at me for. So, today I come in and I'm like, 'kay, we're cool, we're acquaintances at least, and he fucking goes back to treating me like shit!"

Felix is breathing heavy. He can't believe he actually did that. He also can't believe how much he swore. 

"Dude," Seungmin starts. His usually smiley face is replaced by a more serious one. "People don't normally act like that. If he's a douche, he's a douche all the time, y'know? And I'm not saying it's right, because it isn't, it really isn't, but it seems to me that he's interested in you and he just... doesn't know how to handle it. Maybe he's questioning his sexuality, I don't know. What he's doing is wrong and fucking rude, but just, consider the fact that he might be a little lost."

Felix nods. There are tears burning in the back of his eyes and a lump in his throat. 

"Do you like him?" Hyunjin asks, finally speaking up. "Like, would you date him?"

"I mean," Felix says. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

"Then put him in his fucking place. Nobody's allowed to treat you like shit. He'll only keep doing this stunt if you let him get away with it. So don't. Make him work for it." Hyunjin's gaze is stony and Felix hears the protectiveness in his voice.

Felix swallows loudly. "Thanks. Both of you. And you too, Jeongin, even though you didn't really do anything."

"No problem, hyung!" Jeongin smiles. 

Felix is kind of a little glad he moved here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so apparently 3097 people have read this and— wh a T
> 
> thank you all so sososososososososo much it means the absolute world to me!! i hold this fic close to my heart and i'm so glad others like it too wow
> 
> i'm not really sure if people even read author's notes but um i've got some shit to say  
> 1.) stray kids comeback is on fucking monday i'm not reADY (also jyp pls let chris sleep)  
> 2.) my life is kind of a shit show rn so it may be a little while before another chapter gets written and published sorry in advance  
> 3.) i need more frens so catch me on twitter or tumblr @/strawberryymin  
> 4.) thanks for coming to my ted talk ily pls stay healthy and happy


	7. prayers are useless things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coffee house time!! some cute performances from vocal line and hyunjin and minsung
> 
> also some confrontation between felix and changbin O.o

It's seven o clock on a Thursday night and guess where Felix is? At school. He's at school in the auditorium, sitting on a fold-up chair that is probably the least comfortable thing he's ever sat on, when he _should_ be at home doing the three thousand years of homework he has.

There are few good things about this situation. One, is that he somehow convinced Minjae to come so he's not completely alone. Although Minjae's been texting his girlfriend for the past ten minutes and he hasn't even really looked at Felix. But at least he's there. Two, is that he gets to watch Hyunjin and Seungmin and Jeongin perform tonight. Hyunjin is doing some sort of dance thing and Seungmin and Jeongin are performing a song together. 

And three is that they have pretty good seats. Felix wouldn't call himself short, but he wouldn't call himself tall either. Going to seated events where you can't see over the heads of other people is quite possibly the worst thing ever. Felix would shoot himself if someone tall sat in front of him and he spent the entire night squirming around in his seat just so he could catch a glimpse of the stage.

So, yeah, the seats are good. Were good.

Changbin just sat down next to Felix and Minjae.

_God, I really am gonna shoot myself now_ , Felix thinks.

 

 

Changbin is only at this stupid show because Jisung is performing in it. The kid had been so excited— "Hyung, do you know Minho? He's a senior and we're doing a duet together! A senior and he wants to work with me, a measly tenth grader! This might possibly be the best thing that's ever happened to me!" — that if Changbin had said no like he wanted to, it might've crushed Jisung's heart.

And Changbin would never intentionally do that.

But he's here, and Chan, who booked off work, is also here. They're here, at this stupid show, and they're sitting right next to Felix. Felix and his friend, Minjae, who Changbin definitely still hates.

He justifies that hate with these reasons:

1\. Minjae and Changbin used to go to the same middle school, and Minjae was friends with the popular crowd. Very obviously, Changbin was not, even though he was rich. 

2\. Minjae attends their rival school. Enough said. (Minjae's school always wins every single sports event and it makes Changbin kind of mad.)

3\. Minjae is sitting beside him talking with Felix like they're best friends. And he's not even trying to be quiet. (That's not the worst part though. The worst part is that Felix is smiling and laughing at everything he says and that just digs the knife of hate deeper and deeper into Changbin's heart.)

So yes, Changbin has every right to hate this Minjae kid.

"Hey, grumpy, you okay there?" Chan asks, knocking Changbin with this shoulder.

"Huh?" Changbin says. His jaw hurts and he realizes he's been clenching his teeth.

"I legit thought steam was gonna start coming out of your ears, dude," he laughs. "Seriously though, what's your problem?"

Then he sees. "Oh shit, is that—"

"Would you shut the fuck up? Hyung?" he adds after a glare. In a lower voice, leaning away from Felix, "Yes, that is him. Now can you please not say anything because if you fuck this up I'll actually kill you."

"Calm down, Binnie, I won't say anything to your little 'Pretty Boy'," Chan taunts. "D'you remember that? Man, you were _wasted_." 

Changbin does not remember that. His cheeks burn. He wonders if that's a good or bad thing.

"Whatever," Changbin scowls. "Just— we're here for Jisungie and that's that."

"Yeah, yeah. But, um, I feel like I'm not the one who fucked this up. Whatever 'this' is."

"What do you mean?" Changbin asks, darting a glance at Felix. He's staring at the ground, scuffing his foot against something. Looking over Minjae's shoulder at his phone. 

"I'm pretty sure you already fucked it up, bud, is what I mean," Chan replies, brushing his hair away from his face. It's messy today and his curls keep getting in his eyes. "Have you not been like... talking to him? Most people would generally say hi."

Changbin thinks back to every time he's seen Felix since he came over to his house. Most of the time Changbin doesn't really focus on anything; his headphones are in and he's lost in his head. But the few times he has seen Felix in passing, he's been too nervous to do anything. 

It's then that he realizes how much of a dick move that is.

"Hyung..." he says, and then the lights dim.

Changbin is somehow just cluing in to how dumb he is. Like, really, how could he have not put the pieces together that Felix would like him more if he said hi? Or like, acknowledged him? A part of Changbin knows he wasn't intentionally ignoring Felix; it's just how he is, how he always has been. But there's a larger part that is tight in his chest, wondering if he's fucked everything up before it even started.

The sound of singing knocks him out of his guilt-ridden trance. There's a freshman on stage, singing some ballad. She's good, but that's a given seeing this _is_ a performing arts school. Changbin wishes he knew what spot Jisung was performing but the kid thought that if he didn't tell Changbin it would make him pay attention so he didn't miss it.

Unfortunately (for Changbin), that strategy seems to be working. 

He watches mindlessly as the acts go by. There's a couple of dancers, a pianist and violinist duo, and way too many singers to count. Every genre of music has been represented at this point and quite frankly, if he hears one more rendition of a BTS song he's gonna lose it. 

There have been two good performances, not including Jisung's which is soon to come: A trio made up of a freshman, sophomore and senior covering 'Tomorrow, Today' by JJ Project, and a scarily good-looking dancer who did Twice's 'Dance the Night Away'.

And finally, Jisung.

Changbin doesn't know the song; but it's hip hop, something they can rap to. The kid he's doing it with, Minho, doesn't look like the type to be a rapper, however, Changbin is pleasantly surprised with his skill. The two's voices go well together, and everyone can see their chemistry. Jisung might be a sophomore, but you could never tell. 

The two get a standing ovation. Minho smiles shyly and bows and Jisung is grinning so widely it stretches across his entire feet. He grabs onto Minho's arm as they leave the stage, probably thanking him for performing with him (again).

There's a few more acts to follow up and then, finally, it's over. Quite honestly, it wasn't as boring as Changbin thought it would be, and getting to see Jisung perform was pretty dope. That kid has a place on stage. 

"So, what'd you think, Binnie?" Chan asks, stretching his arms and legs out. There's a teasing lilt in his voice. "Wasn't that bad, huh?"

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, it wasn't... bad," he says, but he's too focused on Felix and Minjae.

 

 

Felix has never been to something like this before. This being any type of after school social even ever, but more specifically, a coffee house. He thinks they had them back at his school in Australia, but he didn't really pay attention to that stuff. Even if he did it's not like he would've had anyone to go with. 

Today however, Felix can (proudly) say that he has a friend to go with. Even if said friend is so obsessed with his girlfriend he can't even put his phone down during the show. It honestly makes Felix a bit anxious because what if somebody sees him and they get kicked out? What if one of the performers sees him? 

"Hyung," Felix had whispered, nudging Minjae's shoulders the first time he saw him on his phone. 

"What?" Minjae had whispered back, not even bothering to look up. Felix wonders what they're talking about that's so important.

"Put your phone away," he replied, once, twice, and a third time before he gave up. Minjae doesn't really listen to him ever. It's some kind of age thing, he guesses, because Changbin doesn't really listen to him either. 

Speaking of Changbin. He of course had to come sit _right next_ to them. Felix is too angry— and scared, though he won't admit that part —to even look at Changbin, but he really wants to. He wants to see what he's wearing when it's not required to be in uniform. He wants Changbin to see what he's wearing. He kind of wants to punch him in the face too.

Felix does none of that. He sits and he watches the show, which is very good. Seungmin and Jeongin perform with a senior and Hyunjin does his dance. 

It's cool to have friends who are so involved in the arts. Felix is so proud of them. It almost makes him forget how many times the three cancelled plans or missed lunch to practice. Almost. But most of that time Felix spent working on his and Changbin's chem project anyways.

When the show ends and the lights turn back on, Felix turns to Minjae. He's finally put his phone away.

"So, how'd you like the show?" Felix asks.

"It was good. Gotta admit, the kids here are pretty talented," Minjae says, with some difficulty. Felix has come to learn that he's a pretty prideful person. 

"Yeah, I know right? I wish I was like that," he replies, almost wistfully.

Minjae looks at him like he's an idiot. "Are you kidding me? Kid, you're a dope dancer. I don't even know the first thing about dancing, but I know you're good at it."

Felix grumbles, "We're almost the same age," but he really means it as a thank you. He ducks his head and scruffs at his hair to hide his blush. He's not really used to people complimenting him. It's a strange but good feeling in his chest.

"Anyways," Felix says. "Some of my friends were in the show. Can I go find them and say hi or d'you gotta be somewhere?"

Minjae doesn't reply for a little. He's staring over Felix's shoulder. Felix crosses his fingers and hopes it's not Changbin. He really doesn't want to have that conversation now.

To no avail, Minjae asks, "Isn't that the kid who spilled his drink on me at that party?"

Felix stiffens. "What? What party? I've never even been to a party before."

Minjae glances quizzingly at him. "Nah, that's definitely him. He seems kinda like a douche bag."

Felix just stares at Minjae with a little fear in his eyes. _God, please don't say anything else, don't get up and say hi to him, don't ask me about him, please, please, please, I really can't do this right now, please_.

Felix's prayers are (for once in his life) answered. Minjae shrugs, turns back to Felix, and says, "What did you ask before?"

"Nothing," Felix says hurriedly. "Let's just go home." 

Read: I want to avoid any possible situations that might involve Changbin.

"Okay," Minjae says, getting up. He grabs his jacket and types something into his phone. "Let's go then."

Felix breathes a huge sigh of relief as he zips up his windbreaker and heads toward the door.

Then.

Someone grabs onto his arm.

(Just for the record, Felix doesn't believe in God anymore. He's let him down too many times. Prayers are useless things and Felix will never subject to that level of desperation anymore— _especially_ when they don't even work.)

"Felix," comes Changbin's breathy voice. Felix stills himself and turns around slowly. "Hey."

He's wearing, quite unsurprisingly, almost the exact outfit Felix would've pictured him in. Ripped jeans, check. Hoodie, check. Baseball cap, check. That one silver chain necklace he always wears, check. The only thing not expected is the glasses. Wire rim. Almost... too delicate for Changbin in a way.

Changbin's removes his hand from Felix and shoves it in his sweater pocket. He won't quite make eye contact. Felix belatedly realizes that he's taller than Changbin. Weird, since Changbin's ego is over 6 feet tall.

"Uh, hey," Felix says. Neither of them are really looking at each other eyes. 

"H-how, um, how— did you have a good time?" Changbin forces out. 

Felix had never thought he would hear a tongue-tied Changbin. This is extremely strange. 

"Yeah," Felix says slowly, drawing out the word. His mouth is dry. His eyes dart to Minjae who's kind of squinting at the two of them; as if saying ' _what's going on between these two?_ '

Neither Felix nor Changbin could answer that question.

"Yeah, I did," he says again, in a much more normal Felix-sounding voice. "Did you?"

"Yes," Changbin says affirmatively and very quickly. They make eye contact and Felix wants to look away but he doesn't. Changbin doesn't either. Now the both of them are very intensely looking at each other, waiting for the other to look away first.

Felix ends up breaking the eye contact. "Look, I don't know what you want from me. If you're gonna be a dick, go be a dick somewhere else, to some _body_ else."

Changbin looks— scared? Maybe. Kind of shocked. Felix feels like his whole being is lighter. He's done with letting people play with him like that.

"Felix, I wasn't— I was never trying to— to—"

"Look, he doesn't want talk to you, alright? I think he's made that pretty clear," Minjae interjects. "Let's go, Felix."

Felix doesn't get a chance to see Changbin's face as Minjae whisks him away.

 

 

Changbin stands there for a second, a little lost.

"What the fuck just happened?" he mutters under his breath, hands fisting in his sweater pocket. He's confused, and quite honestly a little turned on by how deep Felix's voice got when he was mad, but he's also angry. At Minjae, not Felix. Maybe a little at Felix. 

Mostly at Minjae, though. Who does he even think he is? Changbin was literally just about to explain the misunderstanding that caused this whole mess and then maybe have a decent chat with Felix for once, but no. Fucking Minjae had to come along and ruin it. 

Now Felix probably won't talk to him for the rest of the year, especially if Minjae has anything to do with it. God, this guy is ruining Changbin's life.

"Dude, what just happened?" Chan asks, throwing an arm over Changbin and directing him backstage where Jisung had texted them to meet.

"I'm trying to figure that out myself," he says. Shakes his head a little. Toys with the juul he has in his pocket. "I don't know. Fuckin' Minjae, I don't know. Whatever."

Changbin gets like this sometimes. When he's upset, he'll box people out in a way. Not the cold shoulder or anything, but maybe worse. He'll put up this fake smile, this fake look in his eye, this fake body posture. He'll pretend whatever's upsetting him just doesn't exist.

It's a very bad thing, actually. Doesn't stop him from doing it. Doesn't stop him from pretending he doesn't do it. 

"Okay," Chan says warily. "Let's go find the kid."

Jisung is backstage talking nervously with Minho. Unless you know him very well (like Chan and Changbin do), you wouldn't be able to tell he's nervous. Jisung gets nervous in different ways; he smiles too much and too big and scrunches up his shoulders a little, like he's trying to make himself smaller.

Jisung catches sight of the two out of the corner of his eye and his shoulders almost instantly relax. "Hyungs!" he shouts. 

Chan laughs infectiously and wraps Jisung in a hug. "Ahh, Jisungie, my little baby, you were so good up there! My son, all grown up now. Wow, time really does fly."

Jisung squirms and wrestles himself out of Chan's grasp. "Hyung, stop embarrassing me," he scowls, glancing over at Minho. He lets out a small breath when he sees he isn't looking. "He's never gonna wanna work with me again if you say stuff like that! He's gonna think I'm weird."

Changbin smirks. Jisung really looks up to this kid. "But you are weird," he adds.

"No, I'm not!" he protests. 

Changbin laughs, "Whatever you say, Squirrel Boy. You were pretty good today, not gonna lie."

"So you're saying if I wasn't good, you would lie? How am I supposed to trust you ever as a friend again if you'll lie to me! I am completely disgusted," Jisung all but shouts.

That's another thing: nervous energy. Jisung will talk a mile a minute for a million minutes. AKA way too long. Changbin gets headaches from the kid on multiple occasions.

"Go say bye to your friend, I wanna get out of here," Changbin says, cutting Jisung off. He's desperate for a smoke. Too much tension in his chest. 

Jisung runs off to say bye to Minho and Chan and Changbin watch him like parents watching their kid go to college. It's kind of sad (both the fact that Jisung is growing up and that they're acting like parents). 

Jisung talks the entire walk home. Changbin takes out his juul and starts vaping. Usually Jisung will ask for a hit, but today he's too distracted to, fortunately for Changbin.

Changbin's house is the first stop. He pulls Jisung into a hug (an oddity for Changbin). 

"I'm really proud of you, kid. You know that right?" Changbin says. Jisung pulls back, wipes at his eyes a little and grins.

"Yeah, I know."

Chan looks at him, says, "You better sort this shit out, Changbin," and tugs Jisung down the driveway.

**to: felix**

can we talk?

**sent at 10:51 PM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while folks
> 
> dw im not and never will be giving up on this fic!!!  
> the amount of support i've received is incredible. i love you all so much. damn. ♥

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter ayyyyyyyy
> 
> more to come bc this fic is all that matters to me atm


End file.
